Saturday, November 27, 2010
There have been some glimmers of hope. I am a die-hard Sonny and Brenda fan from back in the 1990s, and while I have been mostly disappointed with how the writers have handled Brenda's return thus far, I absolutely loved S&B's scenes this past week in their old apartment. I've also enjoyed Lucky and Siobhan's scenes lately (is it just me, or does Lucky look sexier ever since he started gettin' some?) and I like watching Liz get her panties in a twist over it. And even though I thought it was absurd that Sam shipped Michael off to a hotel room with a woman who was willing to take money in exchange for having sex with a tortured 18-year-old virgin, I like the dynamic between Michael and Abby so far.
Sadly though, the General Hospital episodes that I've enjoyed the most in the past few months are the ones that have been repeats, from the Brenda-focused ones that replayed leading up to her return to this past Friday's Jason Morgan marathon on SoapNet. Yes, I'm sure some of the enjoyment of those episodes is the nostalgia factor--remembering when I first watched those stories play out, seeing characters that are no longer on the show, and seeing how those who still are on the show have changed over the years (skinny Jason! Luke with hair! when Nikolas was hot!)
Sunday, October 17, 2010
When Brenda's assistant Suzanne arrived on General Hospital, well, she came baring gifts (see what I did there?). Now, wherever she goes--Rome, Port Charles--it's a sure bet that her overexposed cleavage will be leading the way. Suzanne is an attractive woman, but she's doing herself a disservice with this far-from-flattering look day in and day out. It also doesn't help that she appears to have gotten a really bad sunburn on her chest and forgotten to moisturize afterwards--the words wrinkled, discolored and blotchy come to mind. Plus, if her tops' necklines get any lower, GH is going to have to move over to cable.
Here's hoping those brusk upstate New York winters encourage Suzanne to invest in some turtlenecks and scarves.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Oh Claire, bitter does not look good on you, girl. Dumped by Sonny faster than you can say "what woman in Port Charles hasn't he taken to the island," she's channeling her hurt feelings back into that whole "I'm going to put Sonny away for life" nonsense. Yawn. Because that worked out so well the first time you tried it. And we all know, Claire, that you're just a homemade pasta dinner and a silk robe away from crying "conflict of interest" to your superiors again. But after finding Michael in Sonny's office, she threatens to report the parole violation and send Michael back to Pentonville. Ah yes, the infamous Judge Carroll and his terms of parole still loom large.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Michael has been dealing with episodes of severe trauma since birth. In the last couple years alone, he has been shot in the head; miraculously woken up from a coma, but with serious brain damage; subsequently dealt with issues of rage that has resulted in verbal and physical violence; killed his stepmother; and been sent to prison. And yes, the prison rape that has not been formally mentioned, but that Jason seems well aware of. If anyone on God's green earth needs a therapist, is it not Michael? On a show that rushes women into Shadybrook on the reg, why has this child not even sat down with a counselor?
Even more perplexing, his loved ones lined up in court to plead with Judge Carroll to sentence Michael to "counseling and community service" instead of prison. When he was released from prison, he was given the community service as well as the added bonus of having to live with Dante and never seeing his father, Sonny. Um, where's the counseling, people?
I always joke that GH viewing requires one to check their grasp of reality at the door, but this "Michael wants a hooker" story line that is now playing out confounds me in all sorts of ways. First, after all the shouting of "He needs counseling, not prison!" why doesn't counseling now even cross Jason or Sam's minds? Sam did say that Michael's "not ready" to talk to a counselor ... yet he's ready for a paid sexual experience? I just don't understand how in a matter of two episodes, this poor, disturbed kid has been rushed into a hotel room by two influential adults in his life with an obviously much older stranger named Candy (er, Abigail) who has accepted money to have sex with him.
If counseling is somehow not in the realm of possibility, why didn't Sam or Jason suggest that perhaps Michael is not ready to be involved with girls on any level at this point in his life until he gets some kind of hold on his demons? I love Michael, and I sympathize with him--and I like this blonde friend of Kristina's that he's becoming involved with (I forget her name, so I'll call her Party Girl ... because "Party Girl Who Has a Friend Who DJs" was too long)--but it disturbs me that he's verbally attacked Party Girl at least twice now and yet they're still pursuing each other. I can't help but think that poor Party Girl shouldn't put up with a guy speaking to/yelling at her that way, regardless of his tragic back story. Oh, and when I last left Michael at the end of Tuesday's episode, he was physically attacking Candy-Abby. Attacking women is not the way one works through their issues, GH.
Also nonsensical ... Everyone is soooo worried that the least little thing will get Michael shipped back off to Pentonville. The last I checked, prostitution is illegal, and Port Charles is not Vegas or Amsterdam. So why didn't anyone mention to Michael that if he got caught paying for sex, he surely would get shipped back to Pentonville faster than Sonny dumped Claire Walsh? That seems to be a major flaw in the storytelling. God forbid you have a conversation with your father or you'll get sent back to prison, yet please feel free to engage in a blatantly illegal act.
So on today's GH ... Michael does an internship at a meth lab! I kid, but really ... would it make any less sense than what's been playing out these last two days?
What do you think?
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Let's just take a moment to bask in the Stone-ness of it all, shall we?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
But even through the haze of this sinus headache and congestion, I've managed to put together some thoughts on the latest goings-on on my favorite soap. And since I miss my blog, and especially my blog friends, I thought I'd share them with you:
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
|"A crime boss is after me? Is he hot?"|
Brenda appears unfazed by the news of The Balkan bounty on her head, and refuses to leave Rome, but once left alone, she quickly turns to General Hospital's version of Google for more info on the mystery crime lord. Hey, maybe she can teach Sonny how to use the Internet once they finally reunite.
|"Oh sure, I Finder-Spyder my ex all the time."|
Monday, August 30, 2010
|"Will I still have time to catch the Nascar race?"|
Perhaps scarier than even Lisa was Angry Uncle Mac when he found out that Patrick had cheated on Robin. Did you catch that look he shot Patrick?! I swore he was going to turn green and burst out of his clothes.
|"I haven't had sex in 15 years. You bet I'm angry!"|
Monday, August 23, 2010
|"No, I'm not attempting to breastfeed. I just figured showing three quarters of my boob might take some of the sting out of me kidnapping your daughter."|
|You're no Mercedes, sweetheart. Oh, and you're fired.|
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I have been a faithful viewer of General Hospital and other select programming on your station for many years. As a loyal viewer, I have grown accustomed to what I thought was now a standard in television entertainment--the disclaimer at the beginning of a show that it may contain material that some would deem objectionable, offensive or otherwise difficult to watch.
You can imagine my surprise, then, when I sat down to watch today's episode of General Hospital, and without the benefit of such a cautionary disclaimer, was horrified by the sight of this on my television screen:
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
If there was a lesson in today's General Hospital, it's that desperate women and pharmaceuticals just don't mix. Brook, on the verge of a one-way ticket back to Bensonhurst and thisclose to cashing in big courtesy of Carly, continues to pump Dante with beer laced with pills as a sure way to get him into bed. Honestly, I was really uncomfortable watching this whole thing unfold, and if Coleman hadn't shown up when he did, I think I would have fast-forwarded through much of it. (I'm sorry, I simply cannot fast-forward through Coleman, no matter what kind of crazy is going on around him).
Monday, August 16, 2010
Oh Spinelli, what has become of you? I really use to love this crazy kid, but the writers have made him very "one note" as of late. When he was still with Maxie, it was all about his inferiority complex. And now that Spixie are no more, it's all about his borderline creepy Stone Cold adoration. Take today for example--the squealing, the giggling, the jumping up and down when he received the news of Stone Cold's "loop hole departure" from Pentonville. Yes, I get that these two are BFFs, but what use to be a very endearing friendship that I very much enjoyed is now just odd and uncomfortable to watch. I joked on Twitter earlier that we may soon see Spinelli cutting up Jason and Sam's photos a la Lisa ... but it wouldn't be much of a stretch if it actually happened. I mean, did I mention the squealing ...
And the jumping ...
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
So much for General Hospital easing us back into the week. Mayor Floyd must have officially declared it Crazy Ass Monday over in Port Chuck today, because we got insanity on all kinds of levels. I don't know what was crazier: Franco thinking that an appropriate way to "give back" to his mother was in the form of a stolen newborn, or his mother for actually getting on board with the whole thing! By the end of the episode, she had named him Pablo (a big improvement over Buzz ... just sayin') and was envisioning their new life in Oregon. Yes, Oregon. Apparently, the West Coast agreed with Franco and he's relocating his mother and little Pablo there.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
First, thank goodness today was a little more exciting than yesterday. And trust me, compared to the sleep-inducing hour that was yesterday's episode, watching Mike flip pancakes at Kelly's would have been more exciting. But who needs Mike and pancakes when you have Lisa acting about eight shades of crazy? I have to say, the wackier she gets, the more entertained I become. And suddenly Googling men I'm interested in doesn't seem quite so stalkerish when you compare it to molesting someone's coffee cup. I mean, really ... "I can taste you on this cup"?! Hey Shadybrook ... "Incoming!" Dr. Lisa Niles is coming at you like a torpedo! Start changing the linens and getting a room ready.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
While I didn't want to just rehash what I said on EyeonSoaps.net here on my blog, I did want to find a way to celebrate on The Nurses Station the beautiful men of Port Charles who we're privileged to spend an hour with each weekday. I had written a previous blog post entitled "I Want to Go to a Concert in the Park With Lucky," and it got me thinking: Which General Hospital character would all of you want to go on a date with, and where would you go? So I took to Twitter to conduct my first informal General Hospital poll.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
In the wake of the disappearance of Baby Aiden Cassadine--or Buzz, as Liz would like him to be called--General Hospital is put on emergency lockdown. No one can enter or exit the building, and everyone must clear the hallways. And surprise, surprise, the cop assigned to the case is none other than Lucky--also known by the nursing staff as that guy who was peering through the blinds into the delivery room during Buzzby's birth.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
So are they really going to call this kid Buzz? Because for the record, I'm not on board with that. Regardless, much to my boredom, little Buzzby dominated today's episode as we led up to his much anticipated, well, buzz-napping. (OK, I'll stop now. Or, at least, I'll try.)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
My column, titled "Is Port Charles the New Alaska?", talks about how so many gorgeous, colorful male characters are languishing by their lonesome in our favorite fictional town. Click here to read the column--I would love to hear your thoughts on it!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
- At least half of the fun of awards shows is the red carpet, yet instead of CBS airing this one, I instead had to watch Tony Hawk pretend to be a cashier. Of course, I give credit to Soap Opera Network for attempting to stream the red carpet online, but for anyone who tried to actually watch it, it was fraught with technical difficulties--to the point where I found it unwatchable. I don't know what most of the stars looked like last night and sadly the few that I do know what they looked like includes Ron Moss and that funky scarf.
- Did they call David Copperfield up five minutes before the show started to see if he could kick things off? What was with the casual, untucked look? I'm sorry to break it to you Daytime Emmys, but I've read the book, and I'm pretty sure that means he's just not that into you. Way to start the show.
- I thought it was cool that David Letterman appeared to do a Top 10 on the show ... but why a Top 10 about Regis? Why not about the soaps? Like," Top 10 Reasons You Know Your Soap Character's Not Really Dead. No. 10: You blow up in car." I realize Regis is a part of daytime too, but he was already getting plenty of exposure as host.
- I wasn't exactly paying the closest of attention (thank you, Twitter, for the distraction) but I'm pretty sure an odd parade of older men started to come out at this point. I do remember Don Rickles appearing at one point and thinking, "What in the world does he have to do with daytime?" I'm sure they explained it, but I was too bored to care.
- It's near impossible to say anything bad about Dick Clark, and I was completely choked up when he started crying at the end of the American Bandstand Tribute ... but did we really need that long of an American Bandstand Tribute? Especially when other tributes, namely the one to As The World Turns, were so stinkin' short?
- One highlight of the Bandstand tribute was when all the stars started doing the twist at their seats along with Chubby Checker up on stage--I may or may not have twisted just a little in my living room. But what in the world was Chubby wearing? Maroon pants and a red blouse (yes, I said blouse) with some odd gray jacket over the whole mess? Much like everyone knows not to wear white after Labor Day, can we please make a similar fashion rule about wearing maroon and red together? Please. I implore you. Do it for Chubby.
- Yeah, they were in Vegas. I got it. Did not need the Lion King performance, or the human crab walking over to hand Wayne Brady an envelope to reinforce that concept. If you want to give me Vegas, give me a slot machine and a martini. Otherwise, don't bother.
- Speaking of Vegas, are there no good tanning salons there? Why was everyone orange? Like, really orange?
- As I tweeted last night, The Blue Man Group ranks just beneath clowns and The Burger King on my list of things that seriously freak me the flip out. I have a restraining order out against any man in blue makeup, and they broke it by appearing on my TV set last night.
- Maybe if they cut down on the aforementioned Bandstand tribute, Lion King performance, Blue Man Group appearance, etc., they would have had more time for the actual awards. I was sorely disappointed that they skipped the clip reels while presenting the acting awards and that the show reels for Best Drama Series weren't longer. Not only is this a time to spotlight the nominees, but very few people watch every single soap, and the reels give the audience a taste of their favorites' competition.
- What happened to Cheech and Chong? Did I spend the whole night wondering what the heck could Cheech and Chong possibly be doing there (as promised in the opening credits) and somehow miss them on the show?
As for who won the actual awards, I only watch General Hospital these days, so I can't really say who was deserving and who might have gotten robbed. I know I was thrilled when Julie Berman and GH's directing team won, and flat-out miserable whenever GH or one of its actors lost.
So what am I forgetting, folks? Because I'm sure I'm forgetting something. What were your overall thoughts on the show? I saw a stat today on Twitter that the ratings for last night were up more than 80 percent over last year's broadcast on The CW, which is great to hear for daytime. But I watched more out of obligation than enjoyment, and frankly, daytime fans--and stars--deserve better.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
He just moved in, but something tells me that Johnny Z. is going to have to replace the carpeting in his penthouse doorway very soon given the amount of visitors that come in and out in a single episode. First through the door today was Kristina. After telling Jason just yesterday that the "Johnny Kristina Port Charles" revenge plot against Sonny "works for me," the Mob Prince suddenly changed his tune, telling Kristina that their pretend relationship has to end. In the meantime, Sonny gathered together Max and Milo to order a hit on Johnny. Hmm, I'm sure that brilliant plan will go off without a hitch. And good thing Sonny's flying so far under the radar on this one that no one would ever suspect that he would want Johnny dead.
While Johnny tried to figure out how you solve a problem like Kristina, there was an impromptu Bensonhurst reunion on the docks as Brook Lynn ran into Olivia gazing up at Johnny's penthouse. Olivia proceeded to give Brook a crash course in Zacchara history, and when she mentioned Johnny's past attempt to go legit, I had a flashback to that one winter where the poor guy was selling Christmas trees in an attempt to distance himself from his insane mob family. Legit Johnny was bittersweet ... he was adorable for trying, but you knew it would never last. Back to JOlivia, this couple never fails to strike an emotional cord with me. I'll admit to getting a little misty when Olivia told Brook Lynn, "That man is directly responsible for some of the happiest moments of my life." Aww. Of course, I think wine and handcuffs played a major role in a lot of those moments, but I don't judge.
Quite honestly, I actually thought something happened to my recording of this episode, and that it cut out part of the episode. Because one minute, Olivia was wistfully telling Brook that her and Johnny are over. And then the next minute, she's running into Johnny's place to make another happy moment. Huh? But oh, what the hell, I'd throw logic out the window too if this was waiting for me on the other side of that penthouse door:
Only one problem: Johnny was so caught off guard by Olivia's unexpected visit that he forgot to tie the sock around the doorknob to alert all potential visitors that he was getting busy inside ... and Kristina walks in on the couple right in the middle of some couch lovin' and Olivia telling Johnny that she was doing what no 17-year-old could possibly do. Amen to that, sister. BTW, does being a pretend girlfriend give you the privilege not to knock? Sheesh.
Elsewhere in The Chuckles: Kristina wasn't the only Corinthos kid to walk in on some spontaneous nookie today, as poor Michael interrupted Lante getting ready to make sweet love in the middle of his new home. Later, Michael shared some bonding time with new neighbor Brook Lynn, who offered ... what else? ... to cook for him sometime. And Carly and Jax shared a tender moment over a mutual agreement that Sonny should be out of their lives. And all I kept thinking was, "Hee hee, just wait til Brender shows back up in August and throws you two for one major-ass loop!"
Friday, June 25, 2010
Speaking of men outnumbering the women, how in the world did boring ol' Maya command the attention of all three Spencer men at one time? As I've said before, I really want to like her, but GH is doing everything it can to make sure that never happens. I did laugh though when Ethan asked her out for drinks and she replied, "We'll see how my day goes." Translation: "I'm not going anywhere in public with a man with that hideous half bun on the back of his head." Oh honey, you should have been here earlier when the eggs were served.
Back in Pentonville, Jason takes a break from all his many visitors--no, not to bang out license plates, but to make a personal phone call. Ah, the life of a prisoner. A very bubbly Sam (see what I did there?) answers the phone and, while perhaps well-intentioned, attempts to have phone sex with the most non-talkative, unemotional man on the planet. Save it for the conjugal visit room, Sam. God love him, but your man's a do-er, not a talker.
Luckily for Jason and Sam, GH has decided to twist the law into a pretzel once again and give Jason a free pass out of Pentonville. In order to lure out Franco, who's mailing out so many pics of dead bodies he's running out of postage stamps, Jason will be released from the big house and placed in the custody of ... who else? ... Dante Falconeri, patron saint of criminals and otherwise wayward souls. There's one catch, though: If Jason runs while on this special prison furlough, it's Dante who gets shipped to Pentonville to hang out in the visitation room all day and occasionally make dirty phone calls. Now, if I were Jason, and seeing as how he kinda sorta hates Dante for being a traitor to the organization and getting Michael sent to prison, I might just grab Sam out of the bubble bath and head for The Island, just to see the Falc-ster get thrown behind bars. But I have a sneaking suspicion Franco will take precedence over any Dante revenge schemes.
Speaking of Franco, he returns to Port Chuck in just a few days. Are you guys excited to have him back?
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Now that that business has been taken care of, we can move on to all the many things that I love about the Spencer men. As I mentioned yesterday, I'm a huge fan of Jonathan Jackson's Lucky, and I've particularly enjoyed his interactions with Tony Geary since he's returned to the role. I'm happy, too, that Lucky and Luke are now in a place where their relationship is about more than just animosity and disapproval. I'm looking forward to seeing how this whole "Odd Couple" scenario plays out with Luke crashing at Lucky's apartment. I, for one, was amused from the moment Luke woke up drunk on Lucky's couch.
I didn't want to be too hard on Ethan after calling him out on the whole hair thing, but it's impossible to talk about today's episode without mentioning, well, The Eggs. I mean, home boy went Rambo on that plate of eggs. The man steals for a living. If he was that hungry, couldn't he have swiped a scone off of the Quartermaine credenza and ate it on the way over?
Elsewhere in the Chuckles, Doc Niles has decided that playing both sides of the fence is much more fun than playing just one. After Patrick tries to show up to work after yesterday's suspension, and Steve promptly escorts him back out, Lisa runs to Patrick to tell him that Steve is taking this whole fist to the face thing "a little too far" and she's totally on Patrick's side. Our perky orthopedist even goes so far as to promise Patrick that she'll talk to The Man She's Sleeping With on Patrick's behalf. Meanwhile, Lisa, don't you know that the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club? But once back at GH, Lisa snuggles up to Chief Stevie and tells him that Patrick crossed the line by hitting him and he deserves the suspension. Ooh, I didn't know she was that devious.By the way, I know I'm splitting hairs when it comes to GH actually mirroring reality, but don't you think suspension would be the least of it if you punched your boss in the face in the middle of the workplace? And then called him an idiot? Even if your official title is Best Neurosurgeon in the World.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
After all that's been made about Patrick's wild bachelor days, that he would be struggling to adjust to the major changes in his life seems authentic to me. I'd even buy the ex-girlfriend jealousy thing ... but I just don't see any spark at all between Patrick and Lisa, even a "hey we use to do it a lot" spark. The whole Lisa thing seemed forced from day one just to cause some friction between Patrick and Robin. BTW, gotta love Lisa telling Patrick that, yes, her and Steve are "sleeping together" ... way to stay classy, Doc Niles. I might have gone with the more discreet "we're dating," or "we're enjoying each other's denim."
Anyway boys, next time you want to commiserate over how wild and fun you use to be, take it over to the Haunted Star. They need the patrons over there anyway. Leave Jake's for when you're in the mood for a round of sex on the beach shots and singing "Sweet Caroline" from the nearest table top.
Oh, and one other thing you should know about me: I adore Jonathan Jackson and "his" Lucky. So I've been particularly interested to see who he's going to be paired with next, romantically-speaking--Claire, Maxie, Maya, Alfred's daughter who has just moved to Windamere from Seattle (and that last one's just off the top of my head, GH writers; my resume is available upon request should you need further assistance). Personally, I've loved the few Lucky and Claire scenes we've had (Clucky!), although I like his chemistry with Maxie too. Today we got to see Lucky in the middle of a Claire-Maxie sandwich down at the precinct. So what do you think? Who does Lucky have the greatest chemistry with? Who do you want to see him coupled up with?
One last thing: Maxie's pink crutches. Fabulous.