GH American Idol: Route 66 Is All About Song Selection, While Brook Is Pitchy (and Punchy) Dawg

I didn't watch yesterday's episode because I had to travel to New York City for work (just like Maxie, I attended the trendiest parties in high-fashion couture designed by Feddie ... not), so I may have missed a detail or two leading up to today's antics. And boy, were there antics. Jakes, Coleman and karaoke are like my GH trifecta, but why was this stranger in a fedora singing "Route 66"? Ah, just like Lulu piecing the whole complicated mystery together ("wait, so the mansion is on Road 66 and he sent Maxie 66 flowers ...") I knew my man Franco must be behind this little piece of performance art.


Even more disturbing than this man's rendition of "Route 66" was Ethan chomping down on a toothpick and shooting giggly school-girl glances at Maya throughout the whole performance. Maybe it's not the single-women shortage in Port Charles that's doing in this man's love life.

Later, Toothpick sits down with Maya for a heart-to-heart about why she's so determined to hate him. She then proceeds to tell a very sad story about how her reckless ex was killed and she was working in the ER when he was brought in after an accident. Yes, truly a sad story, and her telling of it was a little less one-dimensional than usual, but I was still fairly bored. Ethan, meanwhile, was like, "oh shit, where did my toothpick go? Did I swallow it?! Do any of you blokes know CPR?!"

Oh, and did I mention that Coleman was on the show today? I have mentioned how much I love Coleman, right?

Apparently, the "Route 66" performance was just a diversion so Franco could hang out at Jason's penthouse and have Chinese food with Sam. Sam pulls a gun on our monkey-loving friend but is hesitant to pull the trigger. "Either shoot me or let's eat," Franco tells Sam, who claims that if Jason finds Franco at the penthouse "he will kill you with his bare hands." "Why does everyone want to kill me with their bare hands?" Franco responds just as I was thinking the exact same thing. I love these Franco scenes. He's so hot and funny, you completely forget that he's also creepy and weird. You almost hope he comes over and sprays graffiti on your walls. Needless to say, Sam does not kill Franco, selfishly because she knows if she does, Jason immediately gets shipped back to Pentonville. Franco leaves without even touching the now lukewarm Chinese food (and he brought so much of it too; such a shame for it to all go to waste), telling Sam to pass on to Jason that "it will be easy this time."

Later, Franco meets up with the karaoke singer (I missed his official name) and tells him he has another song he wants him to perform, something "sad and haunting." "You and me, we're gonna raise the dead," he tells Fedora, and it doesn't phase this man in the least that a wanted serial killer is paying him to sing songs and referencing the dead. He's completely on board. Franco must have bought him the hat to really sweeten the deal.

Speaking of the number 66, coincidentally, Skye and Jax share their 66th straight meal together at the Metro Court restaurant. Maybe they have one of those cards where they punch a hole in it every time you buy a meal and, after so many, you get one free. Just because Jax is filthy rich doesn't mean he can't be frugal. Speaking of frugal, did the Metro Court restaurant cheap out on the tiniest tables you've ever seen?

Apparently I missed the introduction yesterday of a new man in Kristina's life, Taylor. Funny that his name is Taylor, because he looks like a bad "Taylor Lautner in Twilight" lookalike ... I was waiting for him to bust out of that flannel shirt and go all werewolf on Krissy. Otherwise though, he was a breath of fresh air after dealing with that annoying Kiefer for so long, and I think this guy is actually her age. Even better, Kristina tells her mother, he doesn't know the first thing about Kiefer or who her father is ... yet.

Claire has Port Charles' finest drag Sonny down to the PCPD, something about the bomb in Johnny's car. In the interrogation room, Sonny tells Claire "you're starting to like me and it's scaring you." Later, Claire runs into Sonny's office about three shades of flustered, going on about how he can't come down to the precinct anymore (uh, you dragged him down there) and he can't flirt with her in front of the "rank and file" (uh, you guys were alone in an interrogation room). Then, I swear, Sonny proceeds to swallow Claire's entire face. When she's finally able to come up for air, she protests his advances and runs out. You've gotta love Sonny in this scene. His confidence and one-liners were just comical. I hate to admit that they do have a certain chemistry, these two crazy kids.

If you thought karaoke night ended with "Route 66," oh, you couldn't be more wrong. We do have a professional singer in the house after all. By the way, wasn't Brook hired to sing at the Metro Court? Has she had one performance there yet? Regardless, she's giving all she's got to the crowd at Jake's on this evening with her rendition of Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats." Wait, where's Patrick? I don't want to say Brook is a bad singer, but I think the look on Maxie's face pretty much sums up how I felt about the performance.

Miss Ashton gives it her all throughout, downing whiskey shots, kicking chairs and even kissing Coleman mid-performance (hey, hands off, slut!). The shots must be making her a little punchy though, because she then proceeds to hit the King of Queens upside the head ...

... and then gives Johnny a left hook to the face. While he spots a car bomb a mile away, our sweet Johnny Z. never sees this one coming, even at close range ...

Don't worry though, folks, he's OK. He quickly shoots his bro Ethan this smirk as if to say, "Her acrylic just hit my cornea, but she's totally hot for me."

What did you think of Brook's performance?