The Love Doctor Is in at Casa de Stone Cold

Our favorite furloughed prisoner, Jason Morgan, was in high demand on today's General Hospital. Essentially in exchange for letting a wanted serial killer drop off some Chinese food and casually stroll out the door, Sam got a night of some hot lovin' with Pentonville's finest. Hmm, I wonder what's hotter ... "conjugal visit" sex or "I let a serial killer go just to be with you" sex. I'm assuming the latter since the reunited couple even had to banish roomie Spinelli out of the penthouse for the night.

After Sam leaves the next morning to lend her P.I. services to the world at large and before Spinelli returns, Maxie stops by to seek relationship advice from Jason, even though she admits that "coming to you with a relationship problem is like asking a brick to solve a math problem." And from the looks of things, I'd say she hit the nail on the head.

But to be fair to Jason, before he even really has the chance to break into Dr. Ruth mode, Spinelli returns to Casa de Stone Cold and is confronted by his non-wife. I have to admit, as much as we saw the Spixie breakup coming from a mile away, Spinozo brought a tear to my eye today as he told Maxie it was her choice to be free, and she promptly walked out the door. They were a really cute couple until GH made it all about Spinelli futilely trying to prove his manliness and Maxie lusting after a string of bad boys that started way back with Johnny Z. (remember the mob prince's "escorting Maxie to New York City parties" days?) and included full-out kinky Franco sex. Sadly, Spinozo never stood a chance.

Apparently, Stone Cold should start charging by the hour, because whether like a brick trying to solve a math problem or not, the hit man is in high demand when it comes to ladies seeking love advice. Next on his doorstep is Carly, who is trying to figure out whether or not to take back Jax. But yet again, before Stone Cold has a chance to prove that no, he's better than a brick trying to solve a math problem, Spinozo interrupts to offer his sage advice to the Valkyrie. With a whole five minutes to reflect since his own breakup, Spin feels he's in a unique position to offer the kind of insight that only comes with much time and experience. "Don't make him wait any longer," he tells Carly, urging her to rekindle her relationship with Jax.

Sonny found himself back in the PCPD interrogation room, and while Claire mistakenly thinks he's there to flirt with her, he was actually summoned by Lucky, who is back from his trip to Argentina. For about the hundredth time, Lucky and Sonny have the "we have history, I'm friends with your father" "but I'm a cop and you're a criminal" conversation. Lucky likes Sonny for the Johnny Z. car bombing, although he couldn't actually track down that tiny man who Sonny hired to wire the car to blow while in Argentina.

After Sonny leaves, Lucky and Claire have a conversation about her master plan to seduce Sonny right into a prison sentence. "You have a very expressive face and it's screaming your lack of faith in me," the prosecutor tells Lucky. Sweetie, throwing a female prosecutor at Sonny is like throwing a rib-eye steak into a lion's cage. You'll be devoured in seconds. Even as they argued over Sonny, some of that initial chemistry between Claire and Lucky (or Clucky if you will) was back today, and I liked it. Lucky even used the old "let's make a bet" trick, which proves that his interest in the prosecutor is more than strictly professional: If Claire's plan to take down Sonny works, Lucky will buy her dinner at the restaurant of her choice. 

Back at the Crimson offices, Maxie informs Lulu of her breakup with Spinozo and lets it slip that Lucky is "still" the best kisser, which understandably sets Lulu off into protective sister mode. "It was just a kiss. It's not like I jumped his bones," Maxie says, which does little to reassure Lulu. She doesn't want to see her hot, fragile brother hurt after all he's been through, referring to Maxie as "an emotional bulldozer." Maxie storms out of the office, saying that her heart had just been ripped out and now Lulu was trying to shove it down the paper shredder. Speak of the handsome devil, later while she's at the hospital, Maxie gets a phone call from Lucky asking if she's free.

Oh, and Liz went into labor today. This storyline was important for several reasons, the least of which was that she actually went into labor. First, before she went into labor, while she was hanging out at Windamere with Nikolas and their kids, I received further confirmation that Spencer only wears sweater vests, even in the dead of summer. Forget violence and mob life, why in the world is GH perpetuating THIS as an acceptable form of play attire for a young boy in July? Irresponsible.

Another reason why the Liz storyline was important today was because we got to see her brother Steve there right by her side, and oh my goodness, what in the world was sitting on top of that man's head? I was waiting for Franco's toy monkey to crawl out of there and start banging its cymbals.

Finally, important thing number three: after Liz was admitted, a close up of her wrist band reveals an all-too-familiar number ...

Speaking of our lovable psycho, sadly I didn't think we'd get our daily dose of Franco today. But with Lulu left alone in the Crimson offices, it was only a matter of time before he showed up. And apparently he got caught in the same wind storm as Steve.

Seriously, what is up with the men of Port Charles and their funky hairdos? Are they all trying to prove they can top Ethan's bun from a few weeks ago? Stop wasting your time, fellas. You'll never outdo this: