Mayor Floyd Officially Declares It 'Crazy-Ass Monday' in Port Charles

So much for General Hospital easing us back into the week. Mayor Floyd must have officially declared it Crazy Ass Monday over in Port Chuck today, because we got insanity on all kinds of levels. I don't know what was crazier: Franco thinking that an appropriate way to "give back" to his mother was in the form of a stolen newborn, or his mother for actually getting on board with the whole thing! By the end of the episode, she had named him Pablo (a big improvement over Buzz ... just sayin') and was envisioning their new life in Oregon. Yes, Oregon. Apparently, the West Coast agreed with Franco and he's relocating his mother and little Pablo there.


By the end of the episode, Franco was already on a plane and envisioning his next art project with a certain "very special" model ...

Meanwhile, Dante, Jason, Lucky and Spinelli sat around Jason's penthouse shooting the breeze, er, trying to piece together clues. I've been asking myself this question for days: Why in the world is Dante wearing that big-ass badge around his neck all of a sudden? Was the PCPD too cheap to buy a proper bullet-proof vest?

Oh, and then there was Lisa, who was due to meet Patrick at Jake's to talk things out. Patrick gets there early and consults with my man, Coleman, on his extra-curricular activities. I can't really say that Coleman gives the best advice, but I still really wish I could hang out at Jake's in real life and talk to him about my own love life.

Lisa finally shows up, and while she's totally ramped up the make-up and the hair gel, she's totally toned down the crazy, telling Patrick that their friendship means more than some drunk hook-up. And she's going to try her very best to reign in her "I'll boil your bunny" antics.

While Patrick and Lisa are talking it out at Jake's, Robin is in the hospital locker room with a half-naked Steve Webber. She asks for his advice on the Lisa situation and even tries to get Lisa transferred to ... hee hee ... Mercy. I'm not sure exactly what was said, though, because did I mention that Steve was half naked?

Ladies, I think we've found the next Old Spice guy! Once Steve is finally clothed, and he and Robin are back at the nurses station, Lisa shows up, once again in an attempt to seemingly play nice. She even apologizes to Robin and says how lucky she is to be the one that Patrick fell in love with and committed to.

But we know better ... she's still got the crazy eyes, and now the crazy hair to match. Later, Robin is back in the locker room and opens her locker to find that her face has been scratched out of her photos with Patrick. OK, people, this serious freaked me out ...

Can't Anna Devane fly into town and go all super spy triple black belt on Lisa and kick her ass? And why did Lisa bother playing sane if she was just gonna turn around and take an X-acto knife to Robin's pics?

So yeah, it's a lot to take in, right? And I'm only about halfway through what happened today. Sonny and Claire took over Jax and Skye's old table in the Metro Court restaurant, which apparently prompted a lot of folks to get in Claire's face. Johnny showed up with evidence (photos) that Sonny was involved in an illegal shipment. And when the prosecutor didn't immediately go running back to judge for an arrest warrant, Johnny made it clear he wasn't happy ...

Olivia, who was present to hear both Claire's desire for Sonny's sperm as well as what went down with Johnny, was none too happy either ...

But none of this deterred Claire. Once Johnny and Olivia left, she proceeded to up the ante for a shot to introduce her eggs to Sonny's Super Sperm. See, if she had Sonny's baby, prosecuting him would be a conflict of interest. Therefore, crimes like the illegal shipment Johnny gave her proof of would be prosecuted by a lesser attorney who would be no match for Sonny and Diane. Wow, Claire's obsession with having a baby went from cute (her earlier scenes with Lucky) to downright crazy, desperate and out of character. Wasn't her ploy to seduce Sonny originally a means to put him behind bars for good? And now she's practically guaranteeing him his freedom just so she can have his kid?

A few other things that happened in The Chuckles today:

Carly admitted to Jax that she slept with Sonny yet again. Funny, I had completely forgotten about this last time.

Brooke was around, doing her best "I'm Snooki from Jersey Shore" impression ...

And at the end of the episode, Carly showed up to Johnny's apartment for a glass of wine and to make double entendres about testing out his mixer.

So who was the craziest of them all? Also, I'll be out the next couple of nights, so no more recaps until Thursday ... be sure to let me know what I'm missing in the meantime!