Wednesday, 9/3/08: Fastest Trial in History

Amazing. GH will drag out a storyline like the monotonous back and forth between Patrick and Robin for months and months ("I wanna be a part of the baby's life." "No." "I want to move in with you." "No." "I want to marry you." "No.") yet Johnny Zacchara is about to get the fastest trial in the history of the U.S. legal system. Jury selection and the start of the trial all in one day? We should have a verdict by end of episode tomorrow. Let's hope they at least give Epiphany enough time to close the deal with that fellow juror.

Nice use of Coleman the Bartender (who even knew that was his name?) with his freestyle "C. Diddy" rap. Apparently it's very gangsta in Coleman's bar. If you remember, this is where Robin and Patrick had the "your baby momma momma" fight.

So both Clarisse and Diane are gunning for Kate to tell her about the Sonny-Carly limo sex ... but will they actually do it? From everything I've read, there IS a Sonny and Kate wedding, and I can't imagine Kate still marrying him after learning of that betrayal. And I haven't read any spoilers lately, so should be interesting to see how that all plays out.

So is Laura (the awake Laura at least) real or just a Lulu hallucination? I hope the former, but it seems a little odd that neither Nikolas or Lucky have dropped in on Shady Brook while Laura and Lulu are bonding. Then again, wouldn't be the first time a GH storyline didn't exactly make sense. At least I hope we've seen the last of Dead Logan ... dude freaked me out.

Monday, 9/1/08: Am I the Only One Who Misses Faison?

There's a new poll in the forum section of Maria Ciaccia's General Hospital Blog on About.com that asks which GH character do you miss being around the most. The choices are Helena Cassadine, Bobbi Spencer, Alan Quartermaine, Caesar Faison and Roy DiLucca. So far, I'm the only one who has voted for Caesar! Poor Roy DiLucca can't even muster up one vote ...

http://forums.about.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=ab-generalhosp&tid=71308

Thursday, 8/28/08: All Up In Robin and Patrick's Business

Just one question on today's show: Isn't the hospital sick of being in the middle of Robin and Patrick's business?! Put down the damn intercom phone. You've got people battling life-threatening illnesses and they have to be subjected to Patrick knows Robin better than she knows herself and Robin's stubborn but Patrick still loves her ... Enough already! Obviously GH's top docs are more concerned with feeding their own drama than caring for their patients. Sick folks would be better off going to County ...

Wednesday, 8/27/08: Ooohhh, Kate's in Trouble

So totally didn't see the whole Jax calling out Kate for framing Carly coming. I say it's about time the man stood up for his wife and stopped siding with snooty-puss Kate. And about time that someone put Ms. Crimson in her place. Threatening to fire her from the magazine ... classic! Someone get Giselle on the line!

It took forever for GH to finally wrap up the tedious, annoying Robin-Patrick storyline where they just constantly bickered over whether or not Patrick would play a part in the baby's life ... Patrick would beg, Robin would be a whiny brat, Patrick would beg, Robin would be a whiny brat, and so on and so on ... well, now they've just recycled that so mind-numbing I fast-forwarded thru most of it storyline. Only now, Patrick is begging Robin to married him and ... surprise, surprise ... Robin is being a whiny brat. Sick of it. Although it was interesting to hear the Nightshift reference to Robert ... at least it explains why Anna and Robert are in the same town and not running into each other.

Tuesday, 8/26/08: Meanwhile, Where's Molly?

While I'm happy to see that Ric's gettin' a little somethin' (since it seems so few of Port Chuck's residents are), where is poor Molly at? She already has to play second fiddle to Christina "I'm Sonny's Kid" Corinthos, and now Ric takes her away under the guise of some quality father-daughter time and probably sticks her with some babysitter while he's getting busy with the law association floozy. But nice to see that Ric might put on his pants long enough to help his client Johnny beat a murder rap.

Finally someone tells Nadine to STFU ... well, not in so many words, but we all got the message. This was really one of GH's more ridiculous plot lines. Not only is resident in neurology Matt Hunter the only doctor in all of GH who can perform Spinelli's spleenectomy, but Nadine is so convinced that he's a part of a counterfeit drug ring that she's afraid he'll forget to check whether or not Spinelli's bowel is obstructed during the operation. What a nonsensical mess. The writers must have spilled coffee on the original script and tried to piece it back together.

As much as I love Carly, she's almost as hypocritical as Alexis. She's so terrified of her sons getting caught in the middle of mob gunfire, but she's more than happy to put herself directly in the line of fire and in the middle of a potential Jason-Karpov war. Because as long as Morgan doesn't get shot, it's okay if he goes through the living hell of losing his mother.

Meanwhile, would it have killed GH to have cast an ATTRACTIVE Karpov?! No offense to POK (portrayer of Karpov) but wouldn't it be a far more intriguing storyline if Carly was flirting with the ultra-dangerous, HOT gangster?!

Loved the Lulu-Laura mother-daughter bonding!

Monday, 8/25/08: Laura Has a Face!

Finally, after months and months of staring at the back of Laura's head ... we finally see her face today! And she spoke! So okay, yeah, this came as a surprise to just about no one (thanks to all the news announcements re. Genie Francis' return and the week of "Laura Spencer Comes Home" commercials ABC ran last week) ... but it was exciting to see her nonetheless.

Nikolas spent months hallucinating about waltzing with Emily at the ball on the night she was killed ... so I'm surprised he was able to waltz around Windamere with Nadine without any difficulty or guilt or flashbacks. Meanwhile, Nadine is a whack job. She overheard one suspicious conversation of Matt Hunter's and now not only is he involved in this incredibly boring and tedious counterfeit drug ring, but he's also incapable of performing a spleenectomy on Spinelli?! I hope Matt Hunter gets her fired ... did I mention I can't stand that girl?

Speaking of GH, what's going on over there? They only have three doctors on staff that can perform a spleenectomy ... Patrick (who is a neurosurgeon!!), the guy who was on vacation and Matt Hunter, who's a resident?! WTF. Can't the writers even try to make sense of a storyline just once? Good thing Matt accepted the Emily Quartermaine fellowship and came to GH or Spinelli would have died in his hospital bed. I'm sure Matt has to perform the surgery so Maxie can then feel indebted to him in some way for saving Spinelli's life.

Thursday, 8/21/08: Patrick Almost Gets It Right

So I found myself getting pretty caught up in Patrick's cheesy but heartfelt broadcast throughout General Hospital of his love and admiration from Robin. No small feat, as these two easily annoy me. But after all that, and gathering together all their loved ones to witness the spectacle (Anna and Mac sharing screen time for the first time in ages!) ... where was the drop to one knee, the ring, the proposal in the form of a question?? Eh, call me a traditionalist, but you'd think a brain surgeon could at least produce a nice rock.

"Spinell" is usually one of my favorites, but he's been driving me crazy the past two days with his hyper, irrational ramblings about "The Slovak Seductress." For gosh sakes Spinell, let your bro get laid if he wants to.

BTW, doesn't it seem like every character pronounces Sasha's last name differently. I thought it was Sasha Don-ev, but the other day I could have swore someone called her Sasha Donut. Then today, Sonny just kinda mumbled through it like Sasha Dunnahnah. Geez people, let's all get on the same page.

Tuesday, 8/19/08: Nikolas Throws Cell Phone, Grabs Nadine's Ass

Things seemed to be moving along so well lately with the pairing of Claudia and Nikolas ... right up until Nikolas decided to shove his tongue down Nadine's throat at the end of today's episode. I'm pretty sure he even grabbed her ass for a second there too. Good Lord, must we really endure more of these two ... or rather, more of Nadine? I'm so not amused GH. I read in the latest issue of ABC Soaps in Depth (http://abcsoapsindepth.com/) that Sarah Brown was only interested in staying in Port Chuck if Claudia was involved with Nikolas, so I have to hope we haven't seen the last of them.

Holy Soviet Union Jason! Sasha the Russian Lady struck out with Sonny, so she figured she'd take the more direct approach with Jason and just start undressing. I have to say, given that he's the boss of a major crime syndicate and absolutely gorgeous, you'd think Jason would be getting more women disrobing down to their red foundation garments. So what do we think ... will Stone Cold take the Russian bait?

I like that Bernie, aka Mr. Lipman, has been getting some air time lately!

Monday, 8/18/08: Loo Looo's in the Loony Bin

I think GH was a little too intense for me today ... Lulu screaming in a straight jacket (a straight jacket?!), Johnny getting beaten down by the cops ... makes you long for those carefree days on Dr. Siegel's couch doesn't it? Speaking of Lunny's former digs ... does this mean we've seen the last of Sal and Lourdes? Something tells me at least dear Lourdes will find herself in Port Charles at some point ... Although Sal could provide some good muscle for Jason, what with his gang background and hatred for the Zaccharas.

Kate was so annoying today I could barely stand it ... have they turned her into a complete whining, selfish, bratty bridezilla or what?! Amazing that Sonny can't resist the lures of the mob, but he finds it very easy to resist other woman, such as Sasha the Russian lady, even with that annoying, nagging Kate in his ear every two seconds. Then again, stick Carly in the back of a limo and the man loses all resolve.

Meanwhile, what in the world is Carly up to with creepy Karpov? How far does she plan to take this whole thing? Is she going to kiss Karpov? Sleep with him? He doesn't seem like the kind of guy you can easily brush off with the "I have a headache" excuse, or "I don't do that on the first date."

Claudia slapping Scott Baldwin ... good stuff.

BTW, I watched a rerun of The Profiler over the weekend and the psycho of the week was none other than a much younger looking Anthony Zacchara. He sure does crazy well!

Thursday, 8/14/08: Alexis Is a Mess

Seriously, is there a bigger mess on this show than Alexis? Dating Jerry Jax should be enough to qualify her. Now, after all her frantic outbursts about needing Sonny to stay away from Christina ... she wants him to do "whatever he has to do" to protect her? So now it's okay if he makes the most of his mob tendencies in the name of their daughter? Hypocritical much?

Maxie is far from naive ... so how come she has no clue how Spinelli feels about her, or hasn't even considered the possibility? I know far-fetched is typical for GH, but still ... it's a cute relationship (one of my favorites on the show), but it certainly wouldn't suffer from a dose of realism.

Kate finally mentioned the "Olivia" again that she uttered in the hospital months ago after she was shot. It's her cousin. I mean, the woman is getting married in this big, splashy wedding ... no one has thought to question where her family is, if they're coming, who's walking her down the aisle??

Karpov must be reading this blog (or looking in the mirror) ... he's trying to tame the comb-over with a slicked-back look.

Wednesday, 8/13/08: You Know It's a Slow Day When the Gyno Pisses Me Off

So how incredibly unprofessional is Robin's gynocologist (is Kelly her name maybe?)?! Isn't there something called doctor-patient confidentiality? First she blabs to everyone at the nurses' station that Robin's having an ultrasound to determine the sex of her baby. Then she blabs again that Robin's having a girl. Maybe Robin and Patrick wanted to keep that info to themselves ... or tell people themselves. Regardless, what kind of doc does that .... as the new chief of staff (well, at least when he's on the nightshift!) Patrick should kick Loose Lips to the curb.

Random thought (cause let's face it, not much exciting happened on the show today): What's up with all the men in suits on GH? Sonny hangs around his house all day ... in a suit. Jerry Jax roams the park ... in a suit. Trevor nevers sees the inside of a court room ... yet he's always in that damn suit. I think all these guys need to loosen up a bit.

Tuesday, 8/12/08: Nightshift Tangent

I was a little confused when the episode started and Robin and Patrick were talking about whether they were having a boy or a girl. For anyone who is watching Nightshift, we already found out last week that Robin is having a girl. So I guess Nightshift time is a whole week ahead of plain old GH time?? I don't know, it bothers me that these two shows don't sync up better.

Just a side note on Nightshift: I've read that it's doing well ratings-wise and fans are reacting very postively to it. Personally, I'm not completely sold. I'm not a big Robin-Patrick fan and of course so much of NS is built around them. Also, I think the acting is downright terrible in some instances, particularly the gay doc and his blonde roommate. And now that it's bringing back some old, beloved characters, like Jagger and Robert ... it just doesn't feel right that they're not on in the daytime, interacting with all of the GH cast and getting the full Port Chuck treatment. Speaking of, I think Robert Scorpio has, by far, been the best thing about NS ... anyone who knows me knows how excited I get over a FAISON reference, not to mention shout-outs to Sean Donnelly and the DVX! But does it seem right to have Robert back, but not interacting with Mac or Anna (although I heard today that Anna will be visiting NS for a few episodes next month)?

Sorry, back to GH ... Spinelli is much cuter with his hair out of his face (thanks to the sunglasses he had on top of his head for much of the episode). That piece of hair that constantly hangs in his left eye drives me a little crazy at times. BTW, did anyone else cringe when he told Stone Cold he wanted to "make sweet love" to Maximista?! Ha!

As I've said, I usually find Anthony entertaining ... but the scenes of him threatening Alexis' children really disturb me. I think GH takes it just a little too far. Leave the kids out of it.

Monday, 8/11/08: Kate's Skirt Could Cover Your Leftovers

Can a new day please finally dawn on Port Charles so Kate can wear something other than that hideous tin-foil skirt? I haven't commented on Kate much lately because I figure it just goes without saying how irritating her whole bridezilla act is ... but that metallic skirt's been an eye sore for days now! Maybe when she takes it off, she can hold it under her chin and catch a nice sun tan.

BTW, Kate said the wedding is Sept. 26th and that it's less than a month away ... huh?? I guess that's in GH time, where you can wear the same skirt for a week and it's not considered a fashion faux pas.

Spinelli and Maxie are just too cute ... so happy they're showing a lot of these two again. And love how Maxie is becoming the Carly to Spinelli's Stone Cold ... although does this mean that "Spaxie" are destined for only friendship too?

So the fall out from the Nadine-Nikolas lip lock was pretty much what I expected ... but they're definitely leaving the door open wide enough for something to potentially happen between these two in the (near?) future. I might have to stop watching if that happens. Not that I think Claudia is the only option for Nikolas, but Nadine is not an option, period. I'm not even sure why she's on the show. She makes Lulu seem enjoyable to watch. OK, I'll try to stop bitching about Nadine now.

Speaking of Lulu, I doubt she'd be too pleased if she knew Pugsly was on the phone telling Wednesday all about her hallucinations behind her back.

Friday, 8/8/08: Nadine Is the Kiss of Death

Seriously GH? Things seemed to be going so well on Friday. What happened? Nadine was entertaining the idea of shipping herself off halfway across the world with Nurses Without Borders (yes! finally!). And Nikolas and Claudia were finally sharing screen time together after weeks apart. And then the writers had to go ruin the whole thing by having Nadine kiss Nikolas. Bleck. Together, those two are about exciting as Karpov's toupee.

From the couple spoilers I've read, it doesn't sound as if this kiss is the beginning of a beautiful romance for Nadine and Nikolas ... at least not yet anyways. I don't know if the writers are slowly progressing toward what they think is going to be the next incarnation of Nikolas and Emily. If so, it's a huge mistake. Nadine is a grating, one-note character who is undeserving of all the screen time she's been getting lately. On the other hand, Nikolas and Claudia have amazing chemistry ... one of the few pairings on the show I'm genuinely excited to watch. Hopefully, GH will wise up and explore their connection further.

I don't much, if anything, about guns ... but isn't there anything these hit men can do about the "flash of light" that tips off every potential target that they're going to have to dodge a bullet?

Thursday, 8/7/08: Karpov's Powers of Seduction

Aren't soap operas suppose to be about love and sex and FANTASY?! So when a powerful businessman is trying to seduce Carly with the promise of a warehouse full of diamonds and furs and sports cars, how do I get swept up in this fantasy when the man is as dog ugly and paunchy as Karpov?! (And no offense to the actor who plays Karpov, as I'm sure he's quite a lovely man in real life.) I mean, of course I don't expect the aging Russian mobster to look like Brad Pitt, but please people, give me something to work with here ... maybe like a Vincent D'Onofrio type from Law & Order: Criminal Intent. But seriously folks, not only is he hard on the eyes, but he's spouting off lines like "I lived in, what you say in America, zee projects" and "I like you more and more as time passes, even though I've only known you for 15 minutes" and "I WANT YOUR GRATITUDE AS A WOMAN"?! At least GH is consistent in making almost every male character on the show misogynistic. Pretty slick of Ms. Carly to nab his PDA though ... that is what you call in America zee pick-pock-et.

Speaking of turn-offs ... soooo don't want to hear about Kate's physical aching in Paris. BTW, Sonny is setting her up for one heck of a fall, isn't he?

What in the world was Jerry Jax babbling about? Snoozefest.

How awesome is Dead Logan? Is that a knife in your stomach or are you just happy to see me? I really felt his pain while he was banging on those piano keys.

Wednesday, 8/7/08: In Cognito Johnny Brings Sexy Back

Wow, I don't even know where to start today ... who lit a fire under Port Chuck?! It was an action-packed Wednesday! First, we see Johnny looking all Justin Timberlake in his sunglasses and army hat disguise. I swore Jessical Biel and a few trailing paparrazzi were going to walk through the door behind him. Then the cops showed up, Underage Lourdes hugged up on Johnny a few times as Lulu glared on, Lunny had sex on the couch, Dead Logan played the piano ... you know, just another day at Professor Seigel's apartment. Speaking of Lunny, didn't Prof. Seigel have a bed, or do these two just really enjoy doing it on that tiny couch?! Guess GH couldn't afford the extra props.

He's such a creepy, kooky little old man, but how could you not love Anthony Zacchara? Wheeling around Port Charles like an exceptionally tanned little daredevil with his Loo Looos and his sharp sense of humor. Just the thought of him and Tracy on a date cracked me up!

Speaking of dates ... if Johnny brought sexy back at the beginning of the episode, Karpov snatched it right away again at the end. Is there anything less appealing than him slurring to Carly in his fake Russian accent that she should get in a car with him and go for a drive? Eeewww. At least he seems to be working on the comb-over ... it's not quite as severe as when he first showed up in PC. So are we really suppose to be worried that he might end up throwing Carly off a balcony?

Ric and Claudia ... so not interested. GH finally hit on a couple with some chemistry ... Nikolas and Claudia ... but of course they drop that like a hot potato so they can put us all to sleep with Claudia and Ric and Nikolas and Nadine. Wake me up when it's over.

BTW, aren't you really jealous of Jason that he has his own personal Jackal to scour the internet? I really really want one of those.

Tuesday, 8/5/08: The Bitch Is Back

We got a little taste of her yesterday, but it was great to see Bitchy Carly return in full force today. For the last couple weeks, I couldn't believe that she would actually let Kate get away with threatening her marriage to Jax, and sure enough, Carly very much has plans for revenge. However, I was shocked that she would actually suggest to Jason that he eliminate Sonny ... maybe she knows by now, much like the viewers, that the many threats against the lives of Sonny, Jason, etc., never really do pan out.

If Kate was clever, she should have snuck a photo of Carly in that tie-dye dress and run it in Crimson under "fashion don't" with one of those black bars over Carly's eyes.

Something must be in the water because I actually enjoyed watching Lulu's scenes today with Laura (aka, the back of that blonde woman's head who's obviously not Genie Francis). What's next? Hoping they show more of Robin's video blog?! Seriously though, it made me even more anxious for Laura's return ... which I don't think is for a couple more weeks.

Boy, Lourdes didn't waste any time taking advantage of Lulu's absence, suggesting that she and Johnny run away together. I knew Lourdes looked younger, but I'm wondering just how young she is. I was assuming around 19, but Johnny mentioned her being a minor today. So that must mean she's more like 16 or 17?!

Nadine ... ugh. Maybe now that Lulu isn't getting on my nerves quite as much, I can use the energy to compalin about Nadine every day. Really, does anyone like this character?!

Monday, 8/4/08: Carly Puts Kate on Notice

I'm not quite sure what was up with her tie-dye dress, but I did like how Carly finally called out Kate today for setting her up and screwing with her marriage to Jax. I love when these two cat fight ... as long as Carly wins of course!

Okay, Scary Dead Logan actually freaked me out! I had heard that the actor who played Logan would be back to film some "from the grave" scenes, but I thought he'd at least have some lines! Well, I guess you really can't top "you'll never get over me" as parting words for the woman who plunged a knife in your stomach. Speaking of, did Lulu actually take Johnny's money and run?! Where did she go? And will Johnny go after her?! Oh, of course he will. They can't keep Lunny apart for long!

So couldn't Nadine have made a run for the window when Matt went into the bathroom to change into his towel? And what happened to his four-hour surgery? Oh, who am I kidding, I really don't care.

Friday, 8/1/08: Lulu Makes Sense, Hell May Freeze Over as a Result

It was a rare moment on GH on Friday ... Lulu actually made sense! No really, I swear. It was a fleeting moment, but she didn't sound like her usual blathering, nonsensical self. She warned Johnny that Lourdes will turn on him once she realizes that her feelings for him are unrequited ... and Lulu's absolutely right. Lourdes is playing too hard for Johnny's affections not to eventually feel burned, especially with Johnny doing a good job of leading her on right now. (I can't quite figure out if Johnny truly is interested in Lourdes to a degree, made even subconsciously, or if he's just being extra nice to her because of what his family did to her father or because she knew his beloved Prof. Seigel ... ) I'm interested to see how it all plays out. And of course I'm enjoying Lourdes pissing Lulu off in the process!

I know I've already complained a lot about this whole counterfeit drug plot, but it's only getting worse now that the storyline is moving more to the forefront. I found myself struggling to sit through much of Friday's episode ... I was completely bored. And with so many strong, interesting characters on this show, why in the world is Nadine getting so much screen time?! I find absolutely nothing interesting, exciting or endearing about this girl. Her personality is grating (no, the Aunt Raylene-isms are neither cute nor charming), and she brings nothing to the scenes she's in. If the GH writers actually pursue this coupling with Nikolas, it'll be a complete waste of his character -- and the viewers' time.

I'm not sure if Spinelli was just being dramatic or trying to emulate his mentor Stone Cold when he told Maxie that he would need to distance himself from her for her own good ... but I think it's a shame that GH has significantly decreased Maxie and Spinelli's screen time together in recent weeks. These two were a very cute, entertaining couple, and it seems like viewers really took to them. So why won't GH make these two a bonafide couple? I'm sure part of the reason for distancing the two characters is to further set up Matt Hunter as a love interest for Maxie (eye roll). So I guess we'll watch those two fight over things like garage openers and baloney until they eventually realize they're attracted to each other and end up sleeping together. Can't wait.

Sunday, 8/3/08: Another GH Star on TMZ.com

It was less than a month ago that Bobbi was the subject of a TMZ.com post. Now another long-time GH star has made it onto the popular celebrity blog -- Genie Francis:

http://www.tmz.com/2008/08/01/genie-francis-relives-past-forgets-present/

(My only complaint: I tried to post a comment TWICE and it never showed up!)

I'm excited for Laura to return to GH at the end of the month!

Thursday, 7/31/08: Don't Let the Door Hit Ya Eli

It looks like Eli Love got wheeled off into the sunset today. It's about time ... enough with this guy and his horrendous accent already. I just didn't see the point in that entire storyline ... unless GH really thought the audience needed to be reminded about one or a thousand times that Anna Devane can do a high kick. Yeah, we get it. Granny can kick butt. Yawn.

BTW, doesn't anyone think it was wrong for Bratzilla Robin to arrange for Max and Milo to get the living crap beat out of them just to inflate her poor super hot, super spy mother's ego?!

So boring ol' Matt Hunter was sniffing around Anna, Noah, et al. again today. Let me guess, Matt is Noah's son and therefore, Patrick's half brother (who, it just so happens, he can't stand)? Looks like a highly original character might be about to meet a highly original storyline. I'd comment about him and Nadine today, but I'm so bored with those two, I might just fall asleep on my keyboard.

I had initially hoped for a Johnny and Lulu-free day, but I have to say, Lourdes has shaken up this storyline in a good way. I just love how she pisses off Lulu and blatantly chases after Johnny. I still think her keeping Johnny's secret is a bit of stretch (because she thinks he's a "nice guy"??) but I'll roll with it for now since it's so entertaining to watch her rattle Lulu's cage.

I didn't think too much about Monica getting out of rehab until she returned to the Quartermaine mansion ... listening to her and Tracy fight back and forth truly never gets old! Speaking of the Quartermaines, Alan hasn't shown up in his black track suit in quite some time.

Tuesday, 7/29/08: The Karpov Is Out of the Bag

Bitter old Ric let the Karpov cat out of the bag yesterday by telling Jason about Sonny's dealings with the Russian mobster ... but today, a visit from Claudia and The Jackal's sleuthing confirmed the connection. Even though Claudia insisted that Sonny is not working against Jason with Karpov, you could tell the news was not sitting well with the tall, silent one.

I usually love Carly, but it's been a bit too much the last few days. She's throwing everything but the kitchen sink at Jax (sex, liquor, romantic memories, bonding over Michael's accident) and he's making a complete fool out of her in return. Throwing her out of his hotel room, throwing himself out of a plane to get away from her ... as soon as my husband embarrassed me in front of a colleague by throwing me out of his hotel room, I would have been on the next plane back to Port Charles, not pouring myself into a tight red dress and licking up strawberries to turn him on.

I realize this whole counterfeit drug storyline looks great on paper, but it's really turning into one big snoozefest. Part of the problem is that it's focused around two couples with zero chemistry -- Sam and Lucky and the even more yawn-inducing Nikolas and Nadine -- as well as a new character, our dear Matt Hunter, who looks more like he just left a frat party than the menancing, underhanded doc he's suppose to be portraying. He's Dr. Ian Devlin Light. Now that was a character who instantly envoked creepy and sinister.

Monday, 7/28/08: Good Lourdes Johnny!

I'm back into my normal GH routine after a bit of a crazy week last week. Thanks to my DVR, I did catch up on all of last week's episodes (as well as the first episode of Nightshift).

So you'd think I'd have tons to write about ... eh, not so much. Seems like the saaaammmeee things have been happening for days now. How did the Logan murder storyline that had me glued to my set initially take such a turn into Dullsville? Thank goodness Scotty Baldwin finally showed up to breathe some life into the Lulu and Johnny Hour. (BTW, does Kin Shriner just not age? Man looks as good as he ever did. Eat your heart out Rick Springfield.)

I've been trying not to harp on GH's blatant disregard for reality. But I just can't help bringing it up ... are Sal and Lourdes really going to leave Prof. Seigel's apartment vacant for months when they could be collecting rent on it ... in New York City of all places? But well, more importantly ... holy revelation! ... Sal and Lourdes' father was killed by the Zaccharas! So why isn't Lourdes turning in Johnny and Lulu ... revenge on her father's murders AND a $100,000 reward?! Don't tell me she's turning all that down because of some two-day old crush on Johnny. There must be something else to it.

Why is Matt Hunter so interested in Anna and Noah?

Is Ric Lansing so desperate for sex that he's willing to bargain with Claudia for it in exchange for getting Johnny acquitted? I've read Internet rumors that GH was going to pair these two up and maybe even do an arraigned marriage. Boy, do they know how to pick the boring ones. I still say Claudia is great with Nikolas (a pairing that hasn't been explored in weeks!) or, possibly even better, Jason!

Tuesday, 7/22/08: Technical Difficulties

I wrote a long post about today's episode, went to "publish" it ... and then the web site crashed and I lost the whole thing. Sigh.

So in lieu of my fabulous, witty, insightful post (since I'm just too tired to recreate it) a few questions to ponder:

-Are Carly and Jax really headed for divorce court, or will the marriage be saved?

-How soon before Carly retaliates against Kate for sabotaging her marriage? Will Carly (and Spinelli) finally unearth Connie Falconari?

-If not with each other, when is GH going to pair up Claudia and Jason with someone? How many times can Jason and Elizabeth accidentally bump each other and look sad, and Claudia throw herself at Sonny, only to be rejected? You've got your hottest stars with no love interests, GH?

-How downright creepy is Anthony Zacchara? Cutting Trevor's heart out of his chest and making him eat it ... enough said.

Monday, 7/21/08: Dr. Hunter Proves the "Coupon Joke" Still a Great First-Date Ice Breaker

Poor Carly. I know she's done far more devious things, but I just couldn't help but feel sorry for her when bitchy ol' Kate set her up today. Wonder how Carly's going to retaliate ... although right now she seems far more concerned with trying to keep Jax from walking out the door.

We've been seeing a lot more of Nikolas and Nadine lately, especially with this counterfeit drug storyline ramping up. Nadine is nice and all, but after seeing Nikolas with Claudia (when are they going to reunite those two?!) it's obvious how much Nik and Nadine lack chemistry. YAWN. I actually enjoyed seeing Nadine and Dr. Hunter together much more ... what can I say, he won me over with the "I had a coupon" joke :)

Of course, the Lulu-Johnny insanity from Friday spilled over into today. I love how the PCPD is trying to figure out who "smuggled" the gun into the police station. I don't think you can really call it smuggling when someone just walks into the station with their hand shoved in their purse and no one even gives them a second look. At least the writers gave one character some sense ... Nikolas was able to figure out what the rest of the PCPD, including Lulu's brother, could not -- that Lulu was in on the escape and not a defenseless hostage.

So Johnny confessed his love to Lulu today. I'll tell ya, nothing more romantic than summer love, a young couple on the run ... I'd be very into these two if I could actually stand shrieky, grating, childish Loo Looo. But even though he doesn't look quite as good in a tight shirt, I'd take Maxie and Spinelli over these two any day.

How can Sonny really consider himself retired when he's providing "consulting" services to Comb-Over Karpov, the Russian Mobster? Seems like a slippery slope to me ...

Friday, 7/18/08: Reality Has No Place in Port Charles

I realize that soap operas and reality often don't mesh, and viewers have to suspend a bit of disbelief, but it's like the GH writers aren't even trying at this point. I almost have no words for how ridiculous Friday's episode was. Preposterous storyline and sloppy writing ... just when I thought the show was really delivering with the Logan murder plot. So Lulu's plan was to walk into the PCPD with a gun and what, threaten them to release Johnny? Because it's not like anyone else in the PCPD might have a gun too. It's best to threaten unarmed people with a gun, Lulu.

I complained in a previous post about how unrealistic Johnny's steady stream of visitors to the PCPD interrogation room was ... but now you mean to tell me the visitors aren't even frisked? Especially when you have known mobsters going in and out at will? There's a higher level of security to get into a baseball game than to see a prisoner at the local police station?? At it's not like Lulu's behavior wouldn't set off any red flags, given her hand was shoved in her purse the whole time. Uncle Mac should be forced to hand in his resignation immediately.

So Johnny, always the quick thinker, grabs the gun and again takes the fall for Lulu's stupidity by pretending to hold her hostage with it. I'm tempted to give him a pass because he looks really good in that size-too-small shirt he's been wearing for the past several days, but come on ... they couldn't have shoved the gun back into Lulu's purse? Because we know that's the last place anyone would think to look in the PCPD.

BTW, was it intentional to have Karpov the Russian mobster have such a horribly obvious toupee? Or is that the actor's horribly obvious toupee?

Thursday, 7/17/08: Worst. Cover-up. Ever.

I was plagued by computer problems all last night, but thank goodness my TV hasn't stopped working ... lots going on at the Hospital these days. For instance, what in the world is Loo Looo doing walking into the PCPD with a gun?! She's been so incredibly annoying lately, frankly I don't even care what she does. You mean to tell me Johnny isn't having any second thoughts about taking the fall for this girl after she comes screeching into his "office" (ie, the interrogation room)?! Eee gads ... I'd ask them to put me back in my cell if the alternative was listening to that shreaky nonsense. BTW, since when does an inmate get to set up shop in the interrogation room of a police station and entertain a steady stream of visitors? Why doesn't Uncle Mac stock it with cocktails and hors d'vours too?

But if there's any upside to the Johnny and Loo Looo train wreck ... it's that Johnny is really, really hot.

So can no one keep a secret in Port Charles? On one hand, I see that Spinelli was concerned about Maxie and therefore went to Stone Cold with her secret. On the other hand, I'm kinda pissed at him that he betrayed her trust. But now, all hell's breaking loose ... Jason is busting into Loo Looo's room to tell her that he knows she did it, Spin is confessing to Johnny that now he and Jason know, Maxie is running to Jason for help ... Geez people, just take an ad out in the Port Charles Gazette.

I can't say I'm interested in this whole counterfeit drug storyline. Especially with this Matt Hunter at the center of it all. Even with his attempts to look menacing with all that facial hair, he just comes off as a wimpy kid. And I just don't like him. He bores me.

Eli Love ... awful Australian accent. And really, a little too old and weathered in the face to be worrying about dating a grandmother.

Tuesday, 7/15/08: The Jackal Becomes a Man

I love Spinelli. So it was really cool to finally see him get the girl today ... and get a little somethin' somethin' too while he was at it ;) The sex scene between him and Maxie was really sweet ... it was typical Spinelli as he fumbled with Maxie's buttons, but I'm glad Bradford Anderson didn't play it TOO silly. It was believable and not too over the top, which he tends to be sometimes. And how funny was Spin with Jason afterwards?! I thought he was going to tell Stone Cold not to enter the apartment if there was a tie or a sock or something wrapped around the door knob ... hee hee.

Unfortunately, poor Spinelli's happiness only lasted about half an episode. I thought it made sense that Maxie would regret sleeping with Spin because of their friendship, and I'm not sure what GH has planned for these two (I've been trying to avoid spoilers lately) ... but I hope Spin winds up with someone, even if it can't be Maxie. Hey, gettin' some has gotta help him with his confidence, right?!

God, is Loo Looo the biggest brat or what? The only thing ruining this Logan storyline for me is that she's smack in the middle of it. When she yelled at Tracy, she sounded about all of five years old.

Dude, what's up with Sonny? Did retiring from the mob strip him of all his manhood as well? What Sonny do we know who would stand for a woman making a fool out of him with another man?! Kate encouraging the rumor that she's involved with Jax to bolster Crimson is an insult to her fiance ... I'm shocked that he's standing for it. Seems Carly's words are getting to him as he claimed that he was not going to become "Mr. Kate Howard."

Monday, 7/14/08: Monday Is the New Friday

So forget Fridays; today was the mother of all cliffhangers on General Hospital.

First, I can't tell you how much I love Maxie and Spinelli. Although after hearing that Matt Hunter was brought on as a potential love interest for Maxie, I had pretty much resigned myself that her and Spin would always just be friends. Even after seeing that commercial that GH has been playing for days now -- the one where it looks like Max and Spin are about to have sex and the voice-over guy says something like, "Tuesday is the day that Spinelli's dream finally comes true" -- I figured it must be some trick, like Spinelli was just dreaming it all. But after today's kiss, it looks like it might really happen for these two ... well, at least once! Love how she confided the whole truth about the Crabby Commando's murder to Spin, and how sweet he was to her ... what a cutie!

Then we have Uncle Mac setting Claudia and Jason free and claiming he knows who killed Logan. If he found something in Claudia's car or on surveillance to implicate Johnny, then I can't imagine that he'd let Claudia go. And I can't imagine he's picked up on Loo Looo's awful attempts to cover her guilt ... only because that would wrap up the storyline too quickly. Oh Uncle Mac, what do you have hiding up your tan Sears suit sleeve this time?

The show also ended with Kate claiming to Sonny that she'd have to be seen in public with Jax again, as the gossip is doing Crimson a world of good in the publicity department. Boy, this woman is really pressing her luck. Sonny, the silk-suited ticking time bomb, actually didn't explode when he saw the photograph of her head in Jax's lap AND she's just convinced him to walk away the next time an irate Carly attacks ... geez, cut your losses Kate and if you really want to help Crimson, focus on publishing the best damn article possible on skinny belts.

Sunday, 7/13/08: Bobbi Makes TMZ.com

So Jacklyn Zeman, aka Nurse Bobbi Spencer of course, made it onto TMZ.com today:
http://www.tmz.com/2008/07/13/jacklyn-zeman-good-genes-or-good-docs/

Unfortunately, it was to question her plastic surgery, and the comments were sooo not positive. I hate to say it, but on the few occasions that Bobbi reappears at General Hospital, it is difficult to watch her because her face looks so different/distorted. And puffy for some reason. I don't know what the pressures are on these actresses, but I wish they would opt to age gracefully instead of going under the knife.

Friday, 7/11/08: I Want My "Next on General Hospital" Back

I've said it before, but now that it seems like a permanent change, I'll say it again ... I'm so annoyed that GH no longer ends with previews of the next episode, but instead with commercials for other ABC soaps. I understand ABC is trying to entice GH viewers to watch All My Children, etc., etc., but I can't imagine a preview enticing enough that I'm going to commit to a second hour of daytime viewing each day. I'm sure AMC and One Life to Live are excellent shows, but I just don't care. I much preferred getting a sneak peak at the next episode of GH.

So I mentioned on a couple of occasions that I didn't want Logan to die ... but now that the poor guy's officially eaten some Zacchara carpet, I am glued to the aftermath. I love how so many characters are tied into the story, and unlike the Text Message Killer storyline, there's no wondering as to what really happened or who did it. We saw the whole thing go down, and now we can just sit back and enjoy every last repercussion.

I'm especially enjoying Anthony in the wake of the Logan murder -- which is saying a lot, as the man who spews "Loo Looo" every chance he gets seriously creeps me out. But I loved how he ordered Claudia to testify that she saw Jason kill Logan (really? Claudia would make a credible witness? against Jason of all people?!) and then cornered Maxie to get the "real" story.

So is the Robin-Patrick storyline--the one where Robin whines for MONTHS about how Patrick doesn't want to be a father no matter how many times he says he does--really over in the wake of Friday's court scene? Dare to dream. My fast forward button could use a rest.

Wednesday, 7/9/08: "Re-Do" Is the New Booty Call

Carly coined a new phrase today that, considering my exes, hopefully I'll never be using in regards to myself. In rationalizing to Jason why her limo sex with Sonny should not be considered cheating (unlike Jax's kiss with Kate), she said something like, "My having sex with Sonny was a 'go-back,' a 're-do.' Jax's kiss with Kate was brand-new." Even worse, I actually found myself nodding my head in agreement! Hey, the woman is persuasive if nothing else. But something tells me Jax and Kate wouldn't be as amused by The Re-Do as I was.

So Maxie and Lulu walk into Kelly's for no apparent reason. Fight. And then walk out. Yeah, everyone's going to buy that alibi.

As far as I can tell, Robin and Patrick are STILL having the exact same argument they've been having for months now. Must be easy on the GH writers to just repeat the same dialogue over and over and over. I can only hope a court of law orders Robin to shut up.

Tuesday, 7/8/08: Johnny's Girl, Where Can I Find a Woman Like That?

Well, better late than never right? It might have been AFTER Logan attacked Maxie, axed his way through Johnny's door and then Lulu plunged a butcher knife into his abdomen, but Lulu did think to call 911 afterall. Too bad though; by that point, Johnny and Maxie already had other ideas. It make sense though. I would think one of the perks of dating the mob would be quick and easy disposal of any dead bodies that may clutter up your path. Maybe Johnny can get her a cush job at a waste management facility next.

One catch though: Is Claudia really going to buy that Johnny's the one who killed Logan? Not that there's any love lost between those two guys, but I think it would be impossible to step into the middle of that scene and not smell a big ol' blonde rat. Should be interesting to see how Claudia reacts to it all.

Is there anything funnier than that paparazzi photo of Kate's head in Jax's lap?! Oh, it's just downright hysterical ... it warrants at least a two-page spread in Crimson. Get Maha Chang on the line. And I just love watching Carly fly off the handle, bitching at Jason, bitching at Sonny, bitching at Jax. Pure entertainment.

Oh yeah, and Noah Drake returned to GH today.

Monday, 7/7/08: Lulu Thinks 911 Is a Joke

Whoa! So Scotty's Iraq war vet son turned mob bodyguard/wheelchair pusher turned insane stalker Logan Hayes continued to wreak havoc on Port Chuck today. In my last post, I questioned why Lulu didn't immediately run for a phone when she saw Logan attacking Maxie. Well, she finally did run for the phone at the beginning of today's episode ... only to call Lucky, who didn't answer (btw, can't you just picture Lucky on the other end looking at his phone thinking, "oh God, I just can't listen to her right now!") and Maxie of all people, who was laying unconscious on the floor of the Crimson offices! Um, if you had your co-worker lying unconscious and the man who attacked her on his way after you, wouldn't you think to call 911?! When the crazy man starts taking an axe to the door, even then you don't call 911?! I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Lulu still could have had plenty of time to shove a knife through Logan's stomach before Uncle Mac showed up.

In the midst of all that lunacy, the deep, dark Zacchara secret was being revealed that Claudia had seduced Trevor as a teenager so her father would catch the two of them in the act and realize that Trevor was not to be trusted. But the only thing Claudia got for her efforts was a one-way ticket to Milan. It was nice to see a different, more vulnerable side to Claudia throughout the exchange with her father, and while I realize she left the conversation in a bad place ... she storms over to Sonny's and starts taking her clothes off? The funny thing is, Sonny actually looked interested. I'm sure by tomorrow though, we'll suffer through yet another man calling Claudia a whore/tramp/(insert misogynistic term here) and throwing her out on her mini skirt-clad behind.

Ok, the paparazzi opening the door of Kate and Jax's limo and finding Kate with her head in Jax's lap ... priceless. I don't know what's more hilarious ... their compromising position or the fact that paparazzi want Kate's picture.

As much as I love when Carly rails on Kate, it was pretty funny when Jason countered her bitching about Kate kissing Jax with the fact that Carly had sex with Sonny.

Thursday, 7/3/08: Logan Hayes Turns Psycho

Whoa, so I totally didn't see the Logan storyline taking the turn that it did on Thursday. I haven't read any GH spoilers in awhile, or maybe I wouldn't have written off the "Logan is still obsessed with Lulu" plot line as anything more than a precursor to his mob-related death. I definitely didn't expect him to go all psycho on Lulu and Maxie. One question: Didn't it seem like Lulu stared at Logan attacking Maxie just a little too long? Why wasn't she running for a phone to call 911?! Was she in shock? Maxie could have been raped or killed in the time that Lulu was just staring at the window!

Also, I'm surprised that all of a sudden Logan is focusing all of his anger and resentment over his failed relationship with Lulu on Maxie. He hasn't been a big fan of Maxie's for quite awhile, but he usually reserves his Lulu bitterness for Johnny. Maybe he realized it was going to be a lot easier to pick on a 95-pound woman than the Prince of Darkness.

Love that Carly is putting Spinelli to work to dig up some dirt on Kate. Wonder if he'll uncover Kate's true identity?

Speaking of Spinelli, I was disappointed that Diane discouraged him from taking a legit job at Jax's firm. Regardless of Jax's motives (although I think it's a little far-fetched to "get back" at Jason for his connection with Carly by taking Spinelli away from him), wouldn't Diane like to see the Jackal go legit and excel at a "real" job?

Wednesday, 7/2/08: Ian Devlin Is Reincarnated as Matt Hunter

So now that Logan Hayes is thisclose to biting some Port Charles dust, we're seeing a lot more of him now than in the last several weeks. Too bad it doesn't look like Scotty's son will be going out on a high note--pathetically groveling at Lulu's feet and selling "discounted" drugs to docs. I've said this before, but considering he is Scotty's son, I thought he'd get better treatment from the GH writers than these "filler" storylines and, well, imminent death.

And speaking of selling discounted drugs to docs, Matt Hunter is even more of an original character than I thought. I mean really, doesn't he seem like Dr. Ian Devlin all over again? Just wait til he starts hitting on all the nurses. For so much hype about this actor/character coming to GH, I'm completely unimpressed.

Really loving anything to do with Sonny and Carly these days ... loved their shouting match on Wednesday's episode!

BTW, I crack up every time I see Bernie, aka, Mr. Lipman from Seinfeld!

Wednesday, 7/1/08: General Hospital Leaves This Blogger Uninspired

So far this week, there hasn't been any previews for the next General Hospital at the end of the episode. They've been showing All My Children previews instead. What's up with that?!

Even though a lot seemingly went on today, it all was rather dull to me. Nothing really stood out as interesting or controversial. I am curious to see if Claudia will be honest with Johnny and tell him that Nikolas also knows about their involvement in Michael's shooting, but we'll have to wait til tomorrow (hopefully) to find out if she spills. For some reason, I don't think she's going to tell him.

Is it just me, or does Rick seem really not concerned that lunatic Anthony threatened Christina, given that her sister is his daughter Molly and he considers Christina "one of his own"? How can you stomach being in bed, so to speak, with a man who just threatened your daughter's sister? No matter how empty you think that threat may be? Even suggesting you'll drown a little girl at her day camp makes me sick to my stomach.

I did enjoy Carly's visit to Kate today ... I just love how bitchy and catty these two get over Sonny... well, as long as Carly has the upper hand. Kate just tends to annoy me with her overdone "I'm a New York City fashion editor" persona ... listening to her order around Maxie and Lulu is like nails on a chalkboard. It is amazing that in all these years, the only woman Sonny has actually married other than Lily (which didn't occur onscreen) is Carly.

Monday, 6/30/08: Carly Not Pregnant, Always Showers Between Lovers

After saying how much I loved Anna in my last post, I was afraid she had succumbed to the dark side when she did some sort of WSB kung fu self-defense move on Patrick because he dared to step within the vicinity of the blessed mother. But she finally came to her senses by the end of today's episode when she announced that she would be testifying for Patrick if a custody hearing between he and Robin ever made it to court. Wow Robin, you've even managed to alienate your own mother.

All this talk about Robert is making me miss him. I know he's scheduled to return to Nightshift, but I would love to see Tristian Rogers pay a visit to GH during the daytime.

So the mob spawn was just a figment of Carly's delicate stomach. I can't believe the bambino is not to be ... especially when things are just getting so good. Jax is confronting Carly about sleeping with Sonny, Sonny is knocking down Jason's door to see if he slept with Carly, Kate is asking Sonny not to keep any secrets between them. Was the test a false negative? I just can't believe this storyline isn't going to come to term, so to speak.

BTW, I love when Carly tells the story of how she slept with both Sonny and Jax on the same night, she always makes a point of saying she took a shower in between her two romps. "And you know, we were both in a really emotional place, so we slept together on the way home from the long-term care facility. And then I got home, and my mind was just all over the place. So then I showered and found Jax ..." Hilarious. There is something to be said for proper hygiene.

So why wouldn't Claudia just kill Nikolas, since he now has her big, dark, dirty secret about Michael's shooting to hang over her head? Regardless, I was sorry to see that when these two were finally paired up again, it was as adversaries. I still believe Claudia and Nikolas have an awesome chemistry and unlike so many storylines that leave me bored and uninspired, I was truly glued to the set to see what would transpire between these two. Why write these two off GH? So we can watch Nadine and her stuffed animals scour the Port Chuck projects for free more clinic patients?

Friday, 6/27/08: Robin Scorpio Is My Lex Luthor

I have never liked Robin. Ever since she first came on as a child, she has grated on my every last nerve. I find her whiny and annoying. When I realized that Robin was in it for the long haul on GH, I really truly tried to like her. Even with this latest pregnancy storyline, I've tried to stick with it and learn to appreciate (or at least tolerate) Robin. From what I read in soap mags and on Web sites, it appears that many GH viewers do like her. So how hard could it be to sit through her storylines? Impossible ... that's how hard it is. So hard it's impossible. I have gotten so tired of her over-exaggerated pregnancy ailments and hypocritical bratty-ness about Patrick's involvement with the baby, I've resorted back to my tried-and-true Robin technique--fast forward. I mean, is it me, or have Robin and Patrick been repeating the same argument/dialogue day after day, week after week, for months now?

Funny too, because I recently tried to post a comment on Robin's blog ("Robin's Daily Dose," http://www.drrobinscorpio.com/) The comments are moderated, so they do not automatically appear. I checked back several times ... and the comment was never posted! I have no idea why. The comment was neither negative nor inappropriate, so I'll have to assume that Robin doesn't like me either :)

But for as much as I dislike Robin, that's how much I love Anna. So when she returned to GH on Friday, right smack in the middle of the Robin and Patrick storyline, I had a big decision to make ... to fast forward or not to fast forward. I ended up suffering through the scenes, but I'm not sure if even Anna can keep me from skipping over anything to do with Robin.

We saw more of the new doc, Matt Hunter, on Friday and I'm still not impressed. I mean, wow, a GH resident who thinks he's God's gift. The GH writers really thought outside the box with this one to come up with a totally new, unique character. And I just don't find this guy even remotely attractive. Seriously, what's up with that full beard? Are you in witness protection?!

I really don't understand Carly's tactic in explaining the mob spawn. Sonny paid her a visit to confront her on whether the baby was his or not ... and she's claiming it's Jason's? From Sonny's perspective, how can she be so sure? Whether or not she slept with Jax or Jason or whomever, Sonny knows for a fact that she slept with him and can easily do the math to say, ok, it's right about the time she should be showing symptoms. So how can she claim to Sonny with such certainty that it's not his? And is he buying this lame cover story?

Thursday, 6/26/08: Rome Wasn't Built in a Day, But the Free Clinic Sure Was

Wow, so it seems the free clinic has matured from a rat-infested, abandoned crack den to a full-functioning medical facility as quickly as most children mature on soap operas. To complete the fantasy, Nadine saves the day by going into the projects with a stuffed duck. Uh, have the GH writers ever been to the projects? Something tells me bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Nadine and her little ducky wouldn't be quite so well received.

So what we have been anticipating for weeks ... Carly acknowledges the mob spawn. I love Carly, but she's actually complaining that Sonny will want rights to the child? Hmm, maybe you should have thought about that before you had sex with Leisure Suit Larry on the way home from your comatose son's permanent care facility! The storyline definitely has me interested though, so I'll let the hypocrisy slide ...

I've been hearing about this new character coming to GH for weeks now played by the actor (Jason Cook maybe? I'm too tired to remember names!) who use to be on Days of Our Lives with the actress who plays Maxie. Today was his first day on the show, and I was unimpressed. I was expecting a hottie ... not some smarmy looking guy with a full beard. Full beards are so ... well, come to think of it, they were never in. Oh well, maybe he'll start to grow on me once he starts talking.

Favorite line today was when Claudia said, "His name is Za-CAR-a" in that ridiculous accent that I think is suppose to pass for Italian. Since you say no other words with an accent, I think we'll let you slide Claudia if you use the American pronunciation of Zacchara.

Tuesday, 6/24/08: Tick Tock Logan

Poor Logan ... while it was good to see him back in action today, he's like a dead man walking now. Is it too late for GH to change its mind and NOT kill him off?! I still can't get over how much he and Scotty look alike ...

I'm back to fast-forwarding through all of Robin and Patrick's scene. I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt for awhile, but I just can't take it anymore. I am so tired of listening to the same old argument over and over and over again. I'm so tired of annoying, bratty, self-righteous Robin shooting down all of Patrick's attempts to be involved in her and their baby's lives. She's quite the hypocrite. He should take her to court for joint custody.

If I absolutely have to deal with Lulu every single solitary day, I at least enjoy Maxie being thrown into the mix. She definitely makes the Loo Looo-Johnny debacle more bearable. And I covet all of her clothes, unlike Lulu's nasty tank tops and 80s rocker chick jeans.

Am I the only one who thought Sonny was going to jump into the tub with Kate in his tacky maroon suit?!

Friday, 6/20/08: Beware, Asian Virus Known to Cause Boredom

So Jason has succumbed to the Asian something-or-other virus, but so far is just suffering from a high fever and a bad attitude. No delirum or truth serum-type effects, as promised ... at least not yet. I still can't quite figure out why GH threw Jason, Claudia and Spinelli into quarantine together. I think it would be interesting if Jason had some feelings of affection for Claudia (romantic or otherwise) in spite of himself, but he seems to express only one emotion when they're together -- dislike. So where's the conflict? Why keep throwing these two characters together in life or death situations? I think I'm bored.

BTW, when Claudia flexes her insanely muscular arms, it's a little scary.

I had vowed to take a hiatus from talking about Lulu, but GH doesn't make it easy to avoid her by putting her on every blessed day. Friday we were treated to a Lulu and Johnny romp at the Quartermaine boathouse ... all wet and steamy and giggly until it dawned on Lulu that she had brought Johnny to the one place where she had seduced Dylan and lost her virginity. She confessed this sordid little detail of her past to Johnny -- including the resulting pregnancy -- but he seemed to get over it in record time. Probably because at that point, he just wanted to get some.

Thursday, 6/19/08: Uncle Mac Needs to Get Laid

I actually thought the Robin silliness was finally coming to an end. We've endured the exaggerated cravings, constant talk of peeing, and general "I'm the worst depiction of a pregnant woman ever" whining and complaining. We suffered through the ridiculous video blog wars and "baby daddy" and "baby momma momma" nonsense. Now this latest stupidity with Mac hiring Epiphany to care for Robin and keep her baby's father away from her, no matter how much he's trying to be there for her. It all seemed like it was FINALLY coming to an end today with Robin standing up for herself and sending Epiphany home, and then Patrick standing up to Mac ... right until the point where Mac arrested Patrick ... and, as we find out from the coming attractions, for stalking Robin! Remember back in the 90s when Mac was cool and kicked ass and got laid? WTF happened?! Can't they give Mac anything better to do? It's a shame that his character has such history and he's still on the show after all these years, but he's so pathetically back-burner.

I know I should be reacting to the fact that Jason keeled over from a potentially deadly virus today, but I'm still getting over the visual of a random man showing up at the door in a Haz-mat suit, dropping off a pamphlet while mumbling something about "virus" and "quarantined," and then getting the hell out of there. Surreal. I'm not too worried about Jason's chances of survival, but I am curious if he spills any dark secrets in his sick, delirious state.

Wednesday, 6/18/08: Alexis "Rides the Untamed Horse"

I remember an episode of Seinfeld where George realized that the more he abstained from sex, the more intelligent he became. And conversely, the more sex he had, the dumber he became. Apparently, Alexis has fallen prey to the same fate. One night after succumbing to the ... umm ... charms? ... of Jerry Jax, all GH's "role model" of a smart, successful, independent woman could do was shrug her shoulders and eek out, "but I have bad taste in men?" This is your portrayal of a strong woman General Hospital? Shame on you. At least those around her were quick to point out her hypocrisy, especially Nikolas. If my aunt slept with the man who poisoned me, I think I'd be a little pissed too.

It was especially hypocritical after her tirade yesterday against Carly and Sonny. Sonny is a detriment to your child, but Jerry Jax, who we're often reminded is a homicidal maniac, and the father of your other daughter, who just happens to be working for the Zaccharas, will keep everybody safe and warm?

Don't you really wish Carly would throw snooty ol' Kate right out of her hotel lobby?

Monday, 6/16/08: Sonny Gets Freaky Again

I swear, I am thisclose to writing a letter to GH ... another Sonny "freaky boy" tirade against Spinelli?? Really GH, that's the best you can do? It's just weird and creepy and disturbing and wrong to hear this aging, greasy mobster picking on a young, obviously defenseless kid. And while I get that Spinelli being the ultimate loser is part of his character--and his charm--does absolutely everything have to go wrong for him, and does everyone have to treat him so poorly? I really like Spinelli for the most part (sometimes the babbling gets a little out of control) but it's hard watching him get picked on and mistreated so badly all the time.

So it was maybe only a minute ago that Lulu apologized to Carly for being completely ignorant and self-absorbed and running to her about Johnny, like, a second after Michael was shot ... and yet there she is again, off and running to push her Johnny issues on another relative who has way bigger fish to fry. Do we really have to listen to this girl blather every other day, "oh my gosh, I love Johnny but he's in the mob and what do I do and I want your 'sage advice' but really just because it gives me another chance to talk because I'm going to ignore anything you say anyway so I can be with Johnny because I've never felt this way before." Eck, she makes me want to ram my head into my TV set.

How is Uncle Mac going to pay Epiphany to monitor Robin around the clock when the head nurse has a full-time job at GH?

Friday, 6/18/08: Next on General Hospital, Max Dresses as a Circus Clown

Today was a bit of a dull day around the Hospital, especially for a Friday. Big ol' Max in a fisherman's hat isn't exactly my way of escaping in front of the television after a long work week.

Speaking of, while I appreciate Max's kind guesture to take Sonny away during Father's Day weekend ... Sonny? In the woods? Really?? The man lounges around his house in a full suit, do you really think he's going to be sitting in a canoe casting a line in pinstripes? I think if GH really wanted to show that Sonny is conflicted, depressed, that retirement's getting to him, they should have him walking around all sloppy in sweatpants and a t-shirt, hair un-moussed, maybe some stubble ... would love to see him stumble into the Crimson offices like that.

And while I realize reality is a bit askew in the soap opera world, what are the chances that the same woman who Sam (aka Cindy) did wrong sometime in the past is now hanging with Luke Spencer in Mexico? I'm even willing to let it go that none of the people in GH's Mexico have Mexican accents, but come on now .... my imagination only stretches so far. I have to say, I was somewhat excited when I learned that Sam and Lucky would be going on this adventure together to Mexico ... I really thought they both deserved more screen time than they had been getting. But now that the storyline is under way ... bleh. There's just no chemistry between these two. I kept hoping Luke would show up to at least provide some comic relief, even though I know Tony Geary's safely tucked away in Amsterdam until the fall.

Speaking of chemistry, the only thing that really did grab my attention on Friday was seeing Nikolas and Claudia interact again ... I really hope GH continues to move forward with this pairing. And seeing them together made it even more apparent what a snoozefest Nadine really is.

Thursday, 6/12/08: Anthony Puts the Loo-Looo in Looney

I can't decide whether Anthony's "Loo-Looo" is hysterical or extremely creepy.

I never grew too attached to Logan, but was always in awe of how much his looks and mannerisms mirror Scotty's. (They really couldn't have gotten a better representation of a father and son, unless they had actually hired a real-life father and son.) But now that I know he's going to be killed off soon, I kinda feel bad for the guy, showing up only every so often to push Old Man Zacchara around in his wheelchair, usually in the presence of his arch rival Johnny and Loo-Looo "Wrench to the Head" Spencer. It just seems like Scotty's son deserves better.

Meanwhile, the brother-sister dynamic between Johnny and Claudia is just creepy, kooky, and all-together ooky. Doesn't it make you uncomfortable to watch them sometimes? And now that Wednesday and Pugsly are actually sharing an apartment together, the ick factor climbs just a little bit higher.

So how handsome did Spinelli look in that suit? It almost made me forget that horrible Australian accent he was using, not to mention that it would have been impossible for a tailor to make an expensive suit in 40 minutes.

Wednesday, 6/11/08: Should I Sleep With Sonny ... This Week?

Funny that Carly spent so much time today contemplating whether or not she should sleep with Sonny ... I mean, considering she JUST slept with Sonny! All of the Sonny and Carly talk that's dominated the past two days caught me off guard ... but it did get me thinking. Will Sonny and Carly ever get back together? I don't know how Carly could ever justify the decision after claiming that staying away from Sonny is the only way to keep her children safe, but their long history and strong connection seem to always keep the possibility alive. Of course, we all see a Carly pregnancy coming a mile away (no way a soap would have a character sleep with two men on the same night and not capitalize on the potential repercussions!) and I just gotta bet the little one comes out of the womb with slicked back hair and a silk suit.

And was Carly right? Is Sonny only "the real Sonny" when he's with her? Of course, unlike Carly, we have the benefit of knowing Kate's true past with Sonny. Meanwhile, where are Connie Falconari's parents/family? Have they ever been addressed? If Kate Howard is so world-reknowned, no one's spotted a photo of her and thought, oh, there's my long-lost daughter/sister/cousin/etc?

From what I've read online and in soap magazines, it seems that viewers have really taken to Max and Diane. I don't get this one at all. I've always found Diane entertaining, but Max is just like a big, dumb block of wood. Which has served him well as Sonny's rarely verbal body guard. I'm just not seeing a different side to Max with Diane, and I'm not invested in these two at all. They're thisclose to getting fast-forwarded through.

Monday 6/9/08:The Voices in Johnny's Head

Well, I was close. It wasn't garden shears, but Johnny reached for the nearest object he could find in the love shack baaaabbbbyy and looked like he was about to bash his own skull in with it. So yes, Johnny finally snaps and what does our dear Lulu do? Yep, keeps right on yapping. Do you think the writers actually try to make her the most annoying person on earth?

I have to say, I haven't been sure what to make of Claudia for months now (do I like her, do I not like, would I rather stick her in a crate with Lulu and ship them both off to Italy), but I really started to like the girl when she was staying at Windamere. I'm not saying I wanted to see her and Nikolas blossom into the next super couple, but the two had chemistry and I couldn't wait to see what would happen next. And now that Claudia's cooked up this little scheme to pay Maxie to seduce her brother ... well, it's official. I like this crazy bitch!

Actually, seeing Nikolas and gosh, what's her name ... the blonde ... with the yellow this is what I wore to my spring semi-formal dress ... Nadine! ... made me realize just how interesting Nikolas and Claudia actually were. Nadine's just a little too aww shucks and if Nikolas is staying true to his "I'll always love Emily, there will never be anyone else" mantra, then really, what could he and Nadine possibly do to entertain us? Put on a finger puppet show?

Friday 6/6/08: Shut Your Mouth Lulu

Carly telling Lulu to "shut your mouth" on Thursday truly was bittersweet. Sweet because someone finally said what we've all been thinking; bitter because it seemed like it only made Lulu talk more. On Friday, she became SuperLulu, able to mediate mob wars, protect her grieving brother, clock in a few minutes at Crimson, and make it back to her and Johnny's love shack all in a single bound. Careful Lu, keep up this yapping and poor Johnny's going to reach around that shack for the closest pair of garden shears and chop his own ears off. "Anything to make her stop!!!!"

And while I love that Maxie dared to suggest that the daytime Devil Wears Prada, Miss Kate, might actually be wrong ... I don't think she actually was in this case. I agree that Spinelli is a good-hearted guy, but in what place of business would he be allowed to drop in at will, socialize with the staff, and disrupt the normal flow of business? Why haven't any of Spinelli's many "mentors" suggested that he might have better luck with his fair Maximista if he wasn't always hounding the poor girl at work?!

Speaking of good-hearted Spinelli, Sonny's "freak boy" tirade was particularly disturbing. Bad enough he shoved his head against a post not too long ago. I realize Sonny's suppose to be the tough mob guy who can't tolerate the eccentric kid, but come on, this is like fifth-grade-level bullying. Can someone (um, yeah, that would mean you Jason) intervene on Spinelli's behalf, and put an end to this creepy and unnecessary dynamic?