Thursday, 7/31/08: Don't Let the Door Hit Ya Eli

It looks like Eli Love got wheeled off into the sunset today. It's about time ... enough with this guy and his horrendous accent already. I just didn't see the point in that entire storyline ... unless GH really thought the audience needed to be reminded about one or a thousand times that Anna Devane can do a high kick. Yeah, we get it. Granny can kick butt. Yawn.

BTW, doesn't anyone think it was wrong for Bratzilla Robin to arrange for Max and Milo to get the living crap beat out of them just to inflate her poor super hot, super spy mother's ego?!

So boring ol' Matt Hunter was sniffing around Anna, Noah, et al. again today. Let me guess, Matt is Noah's son and therefore, Patrick's half brother (who, it just so happens, he can't stand)? Looks like a highly original character might be about to meet a highly original storyline. I'd comment about him and Nadine today, but I'm so bored with those two, I might just fall asleep on my keyboard.

I had initially hoped for a Johnny and Lulu-free day, but I have to say, Lourdes has shaken up this storyline in a good way. I just love how she pisses off Lulu and blatantly chases after Johnny. I still think her keeping Johnny's secret is a bit of stretch (because she thinks he's a "nice guy"??) but I'll roll with it for now since it's so entertaining to watch her rattle Lulu's cage.

I didn't think too much about Monica getting out of rehab until she returned to the Quartermaine mansion ... listening to her and Tracy fight back and forth truly never gets old! Speaking of the Quartermaines, Alan hasn't shown up in his black track suit in quite some time.

Tuesday, 7/29/08: The Karpov Is Out of the Bag

Bitter old Ric let the Karpov cat out of the bag yesterday by telling Jason about Sonny's dealings with the Russian mobster ... but today, a visit from Claudia and The Jackal's sleuthing confirmed the connection. Even though Claudia insisted that Sonny is not working against Jason with Karpov, you could tell the news was not sitting well with the tall, silent one.

I usually love Carly, but it's been a bit too much the last few days. She's throwing everything but the kitchen sink at Jax (sex, liquor, romantic memories, bonding over Michael's accident) and he's making a complete fool out of her in return. Throwing her out of his hotel room, throwing himself out of a plane to get away from her ... as soon as my husband embarrassed me in front of a colleague by throwing me out of his hotel room, I would have been on the next plane back to Port Charles, not pouring myself into a tight red dress and licking up strawberries to turn him on.

I realize this whole counterfeit drug storyline looks great on paper, but it's really turning into one big snoozefest. Part of the problem is that it's focused around two couples with zero chemistry -- Sam and Lucky and the even more yawn-inducing Nikolas and Nadine -- as well as a new character, our dear Matt Hunter, who looks more like he just left a frat party than the menancing, underhanded doc he's suppose to be portraying. He's Dr. Ian Devlin Light. Now that was a character who instantly envoked creepy and sinister.

Monday, 7/28/08: Good Lourdes Johnny!

I'm back into my normal GH routine after a bit of a crazy week last week. Thanks to my DVR, I did catch up on all of last week's episodes (as well as the first episode of Nightshift).

So you'd think I'd have tons to write about ... eh, not so much. Seems like the saaaammmeee things have been happening for days now. How did the Logan murder storyline that had me glued to my set initially take such a turn into Dullsville? Thank goodness Scotty Baldwin finally showed up to breathe some life into the Lulu and Johnny Hour. (BTW, does Kin Shriner just not age? Man looks as good as he ever did. Eat your heart out Rick Springfield.)

I've been trying not to harp on GH's blatant disregard for reality. But I just can't help bringing it up ... are Sal and Lourdes really going to leave Prof. Seigel's apartment vacant for months when they could be collecting rent on it ... in New York City of all places? But well, more importantly ... holy revelation! ... Sal and Lourdes' father was killed by the Zaccharas! So why isn't Lourdes turning in Johnny and Lulu ... revenge on her father's murders AND a $100,000 reward?! Don't tell me she's turning all that down because of some two-day old crush on Johnny. There must be something else to it.

Why is Matt Hunter so interested in Anna and Noah?

Is Ric Lansing so desperate for sex that he's willing to bargain with Claudia for it in exchange for getting Johnny acquitted? I've read Internet rumors that GH was going to pair these two up and maybe even do an arraigned marriage. Boy, do they know how to pick the boring ones. I still say Claudia is great with Nikolas (a pairing that hasn't been explored in weeks!) or, possibly even better, Jason!

Tuesday, 7/22/08: Technical Difficulties

I wrote a long post about today's episode, went to "publish" it ... and then the web site crashed and I lost the whole thing. Sigh.

So in lieu of my fabulous, witty, insightful post (since I'm just too tired to recreate it) a few questions to ponder:

-Are Carly and Jax really headed for divorce court, or will the marriage be saved?

-How soon before Carly retaliates against Kate for sabotaging her marriage? Will Carly (and Spinelli) finally unearth Connie Falconari?

-If not with each other, when is GH going to pair up Claudia and Jason with someone? How many times can Jason and Elizabeth accidentally bump each other and look sad, and Claudia throw herself at Sonny, only to be rejected? You've got your hottest stars with no love interests, GH?

-How downright creepy is Anthony Zacchara? Cutting Trevor's heart out of his chest and making him eat it ... enough said.

Monday, 7/21/08: Dr. Hunter Proves the "Coupon Joke" Still a Great First-Date Ice Breaker

Poor Carly. I know she's done far more devious things, but I just couldn't help but feel sorry for her when bitchy ol' Kate set her up today. Wonder how Carly's going to retaliate ... although right now she seems far more concerned with trying to keep Jax from walking out the door.

We've been seeing a lot more of Nikolas and Nadine lately, especially with this counterfeit drug storyline ramping up. Nadine is nice and all, but after seeing Nikolas with Claudia (when are they going to reunite those two?!) it's obvious how much Nik and Nadine lack chemistry. YAWN. I actually enjoyed seeing Nadine and Dr. Hunter together much more ... what can I say, he won me over with the "I had a coupon" joke :)

Of course, the Lulu-Johnny insanity from Friday spilled over into today. I love how the PCPD is trying to figure out who "smuggled" the gun into the police station. I don't think you can really call it smuggling when someone just walks into the station with their hand shoved in their purse and no one even gives them a second look. At least the writers gave one character some sense ... Nikolas was able to figure out what the rest of the PCPD, including Lulu's brother, could not -- that Lulu was in on the escape and not a defenseless hostage.

So Johnny confessed his love to Lulu today. I'll tell ya, nothing more romantic than summer love, a young couple on the run ... I'd be very into these two if I could actually stand shrieky, grating, childish Loo Looo. But even though he doesn't look quite as good in a tight shirt, I'd take Maxie and Spinelli over these two any day.

How can Sonny really consider himself retired when he's providing "consulting" services to Comb-Over Karpov, the Russian Mobster? Seems like a slippery slope to me ...

Friday, 7/18/08: Reality Has No Place in Port Charles

I realize that soap operas and reality often don't mesh, and viewers have to suspend a bit of disbelief, but it's like the GH writers aren't even trying at this point. I almost have no words for how ridiculous Friday's episode was. Preposterous storyline and sloppy writing ... just when I thought the show was really delivering with the Logan murder plot. So Lulu's plan was to walk into the PCPD with a gun and what, threaten them to release Johnny? Because it's not like anyone else in the PCPD might have a gun too. It's best to threaten unarmed people with a gun, Lulu.

I complained in a previous post about how unrealistic Johnny's steady stream of visitors to the PCPD interrogation room was ... but now you mean to tell me the visitors aren't even frisked? Especially when you have known mobsters going in and out at will? There's a higher level of security to get into a baseball game than to see a prisoner at the local police station?? At it's not like Lulu's behavior wouldn't set off any red flags, given her hand was shoved in her purse the whole time. Uncle Mac should be forced to hand in his resignation immediately.

So Johnny, always the quick thinker, grabs the gun and again takes the fall for Lulu's stupidity by pretending to hold her hostage with it. I'm tempted to give him a pass because he looks really good in that size-too-small shirt he's been wearing for the past several days, but come on ... they couldn't have shoved the gun back into Lulu's purse? Because we know that's the last place anyone would think to look in the PCPD.

BTW, was it intentional to have Karpov the Russian mobster have such a horribly obvious toupee? Or is that the actor's horribly obvious toupee?

Thursday, 7/17/08: Worst. Cover-up. Ever.

I was plagued by computer problems all last night, but thank goodness my TV hasn't stopped working ... lots going on at the Hospital these days. For instance, what in the world is Loo Looo doing walking into the PCPD with a gun?! She's been so incredibly annoying lately, frankly I don't even care what she does. You mean to tell me Johnny isn't having any second thoughts about taking the fall for this girl after she comes screeching into his "office" (ie, the interrogation room)?! Eee gads ... I'd ask them to put me back in my cell if the alternative was listening to that shreaky nonsense. BTW, since when does an inmate get to set up shop in the interrogation room of a police station and entertain a steady stream of visitors? Why doesn't Uncle Mac stock it with cocktails and hors d'vours too?

But if there's any upside to the Johnny and Loo Looo train wreck ... it's that Johnny is really, really hot.

So can no one keep a secret in Port Charles? On one hand, I see that Spinelli was concerned about Maxie and therefore went to Stone Cold with her secret. On the other hand, I'm kinda pissed at him that he betrayed her trust. But now, all hell's breaking loose ... Jason is busting into Loo Looo's room to tell her that he knows she did it, Spin is confessing to Johnny that now he and Jason know, Maxie is running to Jason for help ... Geez people, just take an ad out in the Port Charles Gazette.

I can't say I'm interested in this whole counterfeit drug storyline. Especially with this Matt Hunter at the center of it all. Even with his attempts to look menacing with all that facial hair, he just comes off as a wimpy kid. And I just don't like him. He bores me.

Eli Love ... awful Australian accent. And really, a little too old and weathered in the face to be worrying about dating a grandmother.

Tuesday, 7/15/08: The Jackal Becomes a Man

I love Spinelli. So it was really cool to finally see him get the girl today ... and get a little somethin' somethin' too while he was at it ;) The sex scene between him and Maxie was really sweet ... it was typical Spinelli as he fumbled with Maxie's buttons, but I'm glad Bradford Anderson didn't play it TOO silly. It was believable and not too over the top, which he tends to be sometimes. And how funny was Spin with Jason afterwards?! I thought he was going to tell Stone Cold not to enter the apartment if there was a tie or a sock or something wrapped around the door knob ... hee hee.

Unfortunately, poor Spinelli's happiness only lasted about half an episode. I thought it made sense that Maxie would regret sleeping with Spin because of their friendship, and I'm not sure what GH has planned for these two (I've been trying to avoid spoilers lately) ... but I hope Spin winds up with someone, even if it can't be Maxie. Hey, gettin' some has gotta help him with his confidence, right?!

God, is Loo Looo the biggest brat or what? The only thing ruining this Logan storyline for me is that she's smack in the middle of it. When she yelled at Tracy, she sounded about all of five years old.

Dude, what's up with Sonny? Did retiring from the mob strip him of all his manhood as well? What Sonny do we know who would stand for a woman making a fool out of him with another man?! Kate encouraging the rumor that she's involved with Jax to bolster Crimson is an insult to her fiance ... I'm shocked that he's standing for it. Seems Carly's words are getting to him as he claimed that he was not going to become "Mr. Kate Howard."

Monday, 7/14/08: Monday Is the New Friday

So forget Fridays; today was the mother of all cliffhangers on General Hospital.

First, I can't tell you how much I love Maxie and Spinelli. Although after hearing that Matt Hunter was brought on as a potential love interest for Maxie, I had pretty much resigned myself that her and Spin would always just be friends. Even after seeing that commercial that GH has been playing for days now -- the one where it looks like Max and Spin are about to have sex and the voice-over guy says something like, "Tuesday is the day that Spinelli's dream finally comes true" -- I figured it must be some trick, like Spinelli was just dreaming it all. But after today's kiss, it looks like it might really happen for these two ... well, at least once! Love how she confided the whole truth about the Crabby Commando's murder to Spin, and how sweet he was to her ... what a cutie!

Then we have Uncle Mac setting Claudia and Jason free and claiming he knows who killed Logan. If he found something in Claudia's car or on surveillance to implicate Johnny, then I can't imagine that he'd let Claudia go. And I can't imagine he's picked up on Loo Looo's awful attempts to cover her guilt ... only because that would wrap up the storyline too quickly. Oh Uncle Mac, what do you have hiding up your tan Sears suit sleeve this time?

The show also ended with Kate claiming to Sonny that she'd have to be seen in public with Jax again, as the gossip is doing Crimson a world of good in the publicity department. Boy, this woman is really pressing her luck. Sonny, the silk-suited ticking time bomb, actually didn't explode when he saw the photograph of her head in Jax's lap AND she's just convinced him to walk away the next time an irate Carly attacks ... geez, cut your losses Kate and if you really want to help Crimson, focus on publishing the best damn article possible on skinny belts.

Sunday, 7/13/08: Bobbi Makes TMZ.com

So Jacklyn Zeman, aka Nurse Bobbi Spencer of course, made it onto TMZ.com today:
http://www.tmz.com/2008/07/13/jacklyn-zeman-good-genes-or-good-docs/

Unfortunately, it was to question her plastic surgery, and the comments were sooo not positive. I hate to say it, but on the few occasions that Bobbi reappears at General Hospital, it is difficult to watch her because her face looks so different/distorted. And puffy for some reason. I don't know what the pressures are on these actresses, but I wish they would opt to age gracefully instead of going under the knife.

Friday, 7/11/08: I Want My "Next on General Hospital" Back

I've said it before, but now that it seems like a permanent change, I'll say it again ... I'm so annoyed that GH no longer ends with previews of the next episode, but instead with commercials for other ABC soaps. I understand ABC is trying to entice GH viewers to watch All My Children, etc., etc., but I can't imagine a preview enticing enough that I'm going to commit to a second hour of daytime viewing each day. I'm sure AMC and One Life to Live are excellent shows, but I just don't care. I much preferred getting a sneak peak at the next episode of GH.

So I mentioned on a couple of occasions that I didn't want Logan to die ... but now that the poor guy's officially eaten some Zacchara carpet, I am glued to the aftermath. I love how so many characters are tied into the story, and unlike the Text Message Killer storyline, there's no wondering as to what really happened or who did it. We saw the whole thing go down, and now we can just sit back and enjoy every last repercussion.

I'm especially enjoying Anthony in the wake of the Logan murder -- which is saying a lot, as the man who spews "Loo Looo" every chance he gets seriously creeps me out. But I loved how he ordered Claudia to testify that she saw Jason kill Logan (really? Claudia would make a credible witness? against Jason of all people?!) and then cornered Maxie to get the "real" story.

So is the Robin-Patrick storyline--the one where Robin whines for MONTHS about how Patrick doesn't want to be a father no matter how many times he says he does--really over in the wake of Friday's court scene? Dare to dream. My fast forward button could use a rest.

Wednesday, 7/9/08: "Re-Do" Is the New Booty Call

Carly coined a new phrase today that, considering my exes, hopefully I'll never be using in regards to myself. In rationalizing to Jason why her limo sex with Sonny should not be considered cheating (unlike Jax's kiss with Kate), she said something like, "My having sex with Sonny was a 'go-back,' a 're-do.' Jax's kiss with Kate was brand-new." Even worse, I actually found myself nodding my head in agreement! Hey, the woman is persuasive if nothing else. But something tells me Jax and Kate wouldn't be as amused by The Re-Do as I was.

So Maxie and Lulu walk into Kelly's for no apparent reason. Fight. And then walk out. Yeah, everyone's going to buy that alibi.

As far as I can tell, Robin and Patrick are STILL having the exact same argument they've been having for months now. Must be easy on the GH writers to just repeat the same dialogue over and over and over. I can only hope a court of law orders Robin to shut up.

Tuesday, 7/8/08: Johnny's Girl, Where Can I Find a Woman Like That?

Well, better late than never right? It might have been AFTER Logan attacked Maxie, axed his way through Johnny's door and then Lulu plunged a butcher knife into his abdomen, but Lulu did think to call 911 afterall. Too bad though; by that point, Johnny and Maxie already had other ideas. It make sense though. I would think one of the perks of dating the mob would be quick and easy disposal of any dead bodies that may clutter up your path. Maybe Johnny can get her a cush job at a waste management facility next.

One catch though: Is Claudia really going to buy that Johnny's the one who killed Logan? Not that there's any love lost between those two guys, but I think it would be impossible to step into the middle of that scene and not smell a big ol' blonde rat. Should be interesting to see how Claudia reacts to it all.

Is there anything funnier than that paparazzi photo of Kate's head in Jax's lap?! Oh, it's just downright hysterical ... it warrants at least a two-page spread in Crimson. Get Maha Chang on the line. And I just love watching Carly fly off the handle, bitching at Jason, bitching at Sonny, bitching at Jax. Pure entertainment.

Oh yeah, and Noah Drake returned to GH today.

Monday, 7/7/08: Lulu Thinks 911 Is a Joke

Whoa! So Scotty's Iraq war vet son turned mob bodyguard/wheelchair pusher turned insane stalker Logan Hayes continued to wreak havoc on Port Chuck today. In my last post, I questioned why Lulu didn't immediately run for a phone when she saw Logan attacking Maxie. Well, she finally did run for the phone at the beginning of today's episode ... only to call Lucky, who didn't answer (btw, can't you just picture Lucky on the other end looking at his phone thinking, "oh God, I just can't listen to her right now!") and Maxie of all people, who was laying unconscious on the floor of the Crimson offices! Um, if you had your co-worker lying unconscious and the man who attacked her on his way after you, wouldn't you think to call 911?! When the crazy man starts taking an axe to the door, even then you don't call 911?! I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Lulu still could have had plenty of time to shove a knife through Logan's stomach before Uncle Mac showed up.

In the midst of all that lunacy, the deep, dark Zacchara secret was being revealed that Claudia had seduced Trevor as a teenager so her father would catch the two of them in the act and realize that Trevor was not to be trusted. But the only thing Claudia got for her efforts was a one-way ticket to Milan. It was nice to see a different, more vulnerable side to Claudia throughout the exchange with her father, and while I realize she left the conversation in a bad place ... she storms over to Sonny's and starts taking her clothes off? The funny thing is, Sonny actually looked interested. I'm sure by tomorrow though, we'll suffer through yet another man calling Claudia a whore/tramp/(insert misogynistic term here) and throwing her out on her mini skirt-clad behind.

Ok, the paparazzi opening the door of Kate and Jax's limo and finding Kate with her head in Jax's lap ... priceless. I don't know what's more hilarious ... their compromising position or the fact that paparazzi want Kate's picture.

As much as I love when Carly rails on Kate, it was pretty funny when Jason countered her bitching about Kate kissing Jax with the fact that Carly had sex with Sonny.

Thursday, 7/3/08: Logan Hayes Turns Psycho

Whoa, so I totally didn't see the Logan storyline taking the turn that it did on Thursday. I haven't read any GH spoilers in awhile, or maybe I wouldn't have written off the "Logan is still obsessed with Lulu" plot line as anything more than a precursor to his mob-related death. I definitely didn't expect him to go all psycho on Lulu and Maxie. One question: Didn't it seem like Lulu stared at Logan attacking Maxie just a little too long? Why wasn't she running for a phone to call 911?! Was she in shock? Maxie could have been raped or killed in the time that Lulu was just staring at the window!

Also, I'm surprised that all of a sudden Logan is focusing all of his anger and resentment over his failed relationship with Lulu on Maxie. He hasn't been a big fan of Maxie's for quite awhile, but he usually reserves his Lulu bitterness for Johnny. Maybe he realized it was going to be a lot easier to pick on a 95-pound woman than the Prince of Darkness.

Love that Carly is putting Spinelli to work to dig up some dirt on Kate. Wonder if he'll uncover Kate's true identity?

Speaking of Spinelli, I was disappointed that Diane discouraged him from taking a legit job at Jax's firm. Regardless of Jax's motives (although I think it's a little far-fetched to "get back" at Jason for his connection with Carly by taking Spinelli away from him), wouldn't Diane like to see the Jackal go legit and excel at a "real" job?

Wednesday, 7/2/08: Ian Devlin Is Reincarnated as Matt Hunter

So now that Logan Hayes is thisclose to biting some Port Charles dust, we're seeing a lot more of him now than in the last several weeks. Too bad it doesn't look like Scotty's son will be going out on a high note--pathetically groveling at Lulu's feet and selling "discounted" drugs to docs. I've said this before, but considering he is Scotty's son, I thought he'd get better treatment from the GH writers than these "filler" storylines and, well, imminent death.

And speaking of selling discounted drugs to docs, Matt Hunter is even more of an original character than I thought. I mean really, doesn't he seem like Dr. Ian Devlin all over again? Just wait til he starts hitting on all the nurses. For so much hype about this actor/character coming to GH, I'm completely unimpressed.

Really loving anything to do with Sonny and Carly these days ... loved their shouting match on Wednesday's episode!

BTW, I crack up every time I see Bernie, aka, Mr. Lipman from Seinfeld!

Wednesday, 7/1/08: General Hospital Leaves This Blogger Uninspired

So far this week, there hasn't been any previews for the next General Hospital at the end of the episode. They've been showing All My Children previews instead. What's up with that?!

Even though a lot seemingly went on today, it all was rather dull to me. Nothing really stood out as interesting or controversial. I am curious to see if Claudia will be honest with Johnny and tell him that Nikolas also knows about their involvement in Michael's shooting, but we'll have to wait til tomorrow (hopefully) to find out if she spills. For some reason, I don't think she's going to tell him.

Is it just me, or does Rick seem really not concerned that lunatic Anthony threatened Christina, given that her sister is his daughter Molly and he considers Christina "one of his own"? How can you stomach being in bed, so to speak, with a man who just threatened your daughter's sister? No matter how empty you think that threat may be? Even suggesting you'll drown a little girl at her day camp makes me sick to my stomach.

I did enjoy Carly's visit to Kate today ... I just love how bitchy and catty these two get over Sonny... well, as long as Carly has the upper hand. Kate just tends to annoy me with her overdone "I'm a New York City fashion editor" persona ... listening to her order around Maxie and Lulu is like nails on a chalkboard. It is amazing that in all these years, the only woman Sonny has actually married other than Lily (which didn't occur onscreen) is Carly.