Tuesday, 8/26/08: Meanwhile, Where's Molly?

While I'm happy to see that Ric's gettin' a little somethin' (since it seems so few of Port Chuck's residents are), where is poor Molly at? She already has to play second fiddle to Christina "I'm Sonny's Kid" Corinthos, and now Ric takes her away under the guise of some quality father-daughter time and probably sticks her with some babysitter while he's getting busy with the law association floozy. But nice to see that Ric might put on his pants long enough to help his client Johnny beat a murder rap.

Finally someone tells Nadine to STFU ... well, not in so many words, but we all got the message. This was really one of GH's more ridiculous plot lines. Not only is resident in neurology Matt Hunter the only doctor in all of GH who can perform Spinelli's spleenectomy, but Nadine is so convinced that he's a part of a counterfeit drug ring that she's afraid he'll forget to check whether or not Spinelli's bowel is obstructed during the operation. What a nonsensical mess. The writers must have spilled coffee on the original script and tried to piece it back together.

As much as I love Carly, she's almost as hypocritical as Alexis. She's so terrified of her sons getting caught in the middle of mob gunfire, but she's more than happy to put herself directly in the line of fire and in the middle of a potential Jason-Karpov war. Because as long as Morgan doesn't get shot, it's okay if he goes through the living hell of losing his mother.

Meanwhile, would it have killed GH to have cast an ATTRACTIVE Karpov?! No offense to POK (portrayer of Karpov) but wouldn't it be a far more intriguing storyline if Carly was flirting with the ultra-dangerous, HOT gangster?!

Loved the Lulu-Laura mother-daughter bonding!

Monday, 8/18/08: Loo Looo's in the Loony Bin

I think GH was a little too intense for me today ... Lulu screaming in a straight jacket (a straight jacket?!), Johnny getting beaten down by the cops ... makes you long for those carefree days on Dr. Siegel's couch doesn't it? Speaking of Lunny's former digs ... does this mean we've seen the last of Sal and Lourdes? Something tells me at least dear Lourdes will find herself in Port Charles at some point ... Although Sal could provide some good muscle for Jason, what with his gang background and hatred for the Zaccharas.

Kate was so annoying today I could barely stand it ... have they turned her into a complete whining, selfish, bratty bridezilla or what?! Amazing that Sonny can't resist the lures of the mob, but he finds it very easy to resist other woman, such as Sasha the Russian lady, even with that annoying, nagging Kate in his ear every two seconds. Then again, stick Carly in the back of a limo and the man loses all resolve.

Meanwhile, what in the world is Carly up to with creepy Karpov? How far does she plan to take this whole thing? Is she going to kiss Karpov? Sleep with him? He doesn't seem like the kind of guy you can easily brush off with the "I have a headache" excuse, or "I don't do that on the first date."

Claudia slapping Scott Baldwin ... good stuff.

BTW, I watched a rerun of The Profiler over the weekend and the psycho of the week was none other than a much younger looking Anthony Zacchara. He sure does crazy well!

Thursday, 8/14/08: Alexis Is a Mess

Seriously, is there a bigger mess on this show than Alexis? Dating Jerry Jax should be enough to qualify her. Now, after all her frantic outbursts about needing Sonny to stay away from Christina ... she wants him to do "whatever he has to do" to protect her? So now it's okay if he makes the most of his mob tendencies in the name of their daughter? Hypocritical much?

Maxie is far from naive ... so how come she has no clue how Spinelli feels about her, or hasn't even considered the possibility? I know far-fetched is typical for GH, but still ... it's a cute relationship (one of my favorites on the show), but it certainly wouldn't suffer from a dose of realism.

Kate finally mentioned the "Olivia" again that she uttered in the hospital months ago after she was shot. It's her cousin. I mean, the woman is getting married in this big, splashy wedding ... no one has thought to question where her family is, if they're coming, who's walking her down the aisle??

Karpov must be reading this blog (or looking in the mirror) ... he's trying to tame the comb-over with a slicked-back look.

Thursday, 8/7/08: Karpov's Powers of Seduction

Aren't soap operas suppose to be about love and sex and FANTASY?! So when a powerful businessman is trying to seduce Carly with the promise of a warehouse full of diamonds and furs and sports cars, how do I get swept up in this fantasy when the man is as dog ugly and paunchy as Karpov?! (And no offense to the actor who plays Karpov, as I'm sure he's quite a lovely man in real life.) I mean, of course I don't expect the aging Russian mobster to look like Brad Pitt, but please people, give me something to work with here ... maybe like a Vincent D'Onofrio type from Law & Order: Criminal Intent. But seriously folks, not only is he hard on the eyes, but he's spouting off lines like "I lived in, what you say in America, zee projects" and "I like you more and more as time passes, even though I've only known you for 15 minutes" and "I WANT YOUR GRATITUDE AS A WOMAN"?! At least GH is consistent in making almost every male character on the show misogynistic. Pretty slick of Ms. Carly to nab his PDA though ... that is what you call in America zee pick-pock-et.

Speaking of turn-offs ... soooo don't want to hear about Kate's physical aching in Paris. BTW, Sonny is setting her up for one heck of a fall, isn't he?

What in the world was Jerry Jax babbling about? Snoozefest.

How awesome is Dead Logan? Is that a knife in your stomach or are you just happy to see me? I really felt his pain while he was banging on those piano keys.

Wednesday, 8/7/08: In Cognito Johnny Brings Sexy Back

Wow, I don't even know where to start today ... who lit a fire under Port Chuck?! It was an action-packed Wednesday! First, we see Johnny looking all Justin Timberlake in his sunglasses and army hat disguise. I swore Jessical Biel and a few trailing paparrazzi were going to walk through the door behind him. Then the cops showed up, Underage Lourdes hugged up on Johnny a few times as Lulu glared on, Lunny had sex on the couch, Dead Logan played the piano ... you know, just another day at Professor Seigel's apartment. Speaking of Lunny, didn't Prof. Seigel have a bed, or do these two just really enjoy doing it on that tiny couch?! Guess GH couldn't afford the extra props.

He's such a creepy, kooky little old man, but how could you not love Anthony Zacchara? Wheeling around Port Charles like an exceptionally tanned little daredevil with his Loo Looos and his sharp sense of humor. Just the thought of him and Tracy on a date cracked me up!

Speaking of dates ... if Johnny brought sexy back at the beginning of the episode, Karpov snatched it right away again at the end. Is there anything less appealing than him slurring to Carly in his fake Russian accent that she should get in a car with him and go for a drive? Eeewww. At least he seems to be working on the comb-over ... it's not quite as severe as when he first showed up in PC. So are we really suppose to be worried that he might end up throwing Carly off a balcony?

Ric and Claudia ... so not interested. GH finally hit on a couple with some chemistry ... Nikolas and Claudia ... but of course they drop that like a hot potato so they can put us all to sleep with Claudia and Ric and Nikolas and Nadine. Wake me up when it's over.

BTW, aren't you really jealous of Jason that he has his own personal Jackal to scour the internet? I really really want one of those.

Tuesday, 7/29/08: The Karpov Is Out of the Bag

Bitter old Ric let the Karpov cat out of the bag yesterday by telling Jason about Sonny's dealings with the Russian mobster ... but today, a visit from Claudia and The Jackal's sleuthing confirmed the connection. Even though Claudia insisted that Sonny is not working against Jason with Karpov, you could tell the news was not sitting well with the tall, silent one.

I usually love Carly, but it's been a bit too much the last few days. She's throwing everything but the kitchen sink at Jax (sex, liquor, romantic memories, bonding over Michael's accident) and he's making a complete fool out of her in return. Throwing her out of his hotel room, throwing himself out of a plane to get away from her ... as soon as my husband embarrassed me in front of a colleague by throwing me out of his hotel room, I would have been on the next plane back to Port Charles, not pouring myself into a tight red dress and licking up strawberries to turn him on.

I realize this whole counterfeit drug storyline looks great on paper, but it's really turning into one big snoozefest. Part of the problem is that it's focused around two couples with zero chemistry -- Sam and Lucky and the even more yawn-inducing Nikolas and Nadine -- as well as a new character, our dear Matt Hunter, who looks more like he just left a frat party than the menancing, underhanded doc he's suppose to be portraying. He's Dr. Ian Devlin Light. Now that was a character who instantly envoked creepy and sinister.

Monday, 7/21/08: Dr. Hunter Proves the "Coupon Joke" Still a Great First-Date Ice Breaker

Poor Carly. I know she's done far more devious things, but I just couldn't help but feel sorry for her when bitchy ol' Kate set her up today. Wonder how Carly's going to retaliate ... although right now she seems far more concerned with trying to keep Jax from walking out the door.

We've been seeing a lot more of Nikolas and Nadine lately, especially with this counterfeit drug storyline ramping up. Nadine is nice and all, but after seeing Nikolas with Claudia (when are they going to reunite those two?!) it's obvious how much Nik and Nadine lack chemistry. YAWN. I actually enjoyed seeing Nadine and Dr. Hunter together much more ... what can I say, he won me over with the "I had a coupon" joke :)

Of course, the Lulu-Johnny insanity from Friday spilled over into today. I love how the PCPD is trying to figure out who "smuggled" the gun into the police station. I don't think you can really call it smuggling when someone just walks into the station with their hand shoved in their purse and no one even gives them a second look. At least the writers gave one character some sense ... Nikolas was able to figure out what the rest of the PCPD, including Lulu's brother, could not -- that Lulu was in on the escape and not a defenseless hostage.

So Johnny confessed his love to Lulu today. I'll tell ya, nothing more romantic than summer love, a young couple on the run ... I'd be very into these two if I could actually stand shrieky, grating, childish Loo Looo. But even though he doesn't look quite as good in a tight shirt, I'd take Maxie and Spinelli over these two any day.

How can Sonny really consider himself retired when he's providing "consulting" services to Comb-Over Karpov, the Russian Mobster? Seems like a slippery slope to me ...

Friday, 7/18/08: Reality Has No Place in Port Charles

I realize that soap operas and reality often don't mesh, and viewers have to suspend a bit of disbelief, but it's like the GH writers aren't even trying at this point. I almost have no words for how ridiculous Friday's episode was. Preposterous storyline and sloppy writing ... just when I thought the show was really delivering with the Logan murder plot. So Lulu's plan was to walk into the PCPD with a gun and what, threaten them to release Johnny? Because it's not like anyone else in the PCPD might have a gun too. It's best to threaten unarmed people with a gun, Lulu.

I complained in a previous post about how unrealistic Johnny's steady stream of visitors to the PCPD interrogation room was ... but now you mean to tell me the visitors aren't even frisked? Especially when you have known mobsters going in and out at will? There's a higher level of security to get into a baseball game than to see a prisoner at the local police station?? At it's not like Lulu's behavior wouldn't set off any red flags, given her hand was shoved in her purse the whole time. Uncle Mac should be forced to hand in his resignation immediately.

So Johnny, always the quick thinker, grabs the gun and again takes the fall for Lulu's stupidity by pretending to hold her hostage with it. I'm tempted to give him a pass because he looks really good in that size-too-small shirt he's been wearing for the past several days, but come on ... they couldn't have shoved the gun back into Lulu's purse? Because we know that's the last place anyone would think to look in the PCPD.

BTW, was it intentional to have Karpov the Russian mobster have such a horribly obvious toupee? Or is that the actor's horribly obvious toupee?