Tuesday, 8/19/08: Nikolas Throws Cell Phone, Grabs Nadine's Ass

Things seemed to be moving along so well lately with the pairing of Claudia and Nikolas ... right up until Nikolas decided to shove his tongue down Nadine's throat at the end of today's episode. I'm pretty sure he even grabbed her ass for a second there too. Good Lord, must we really endure more of these two ... or rather, more of Nadine? I'm so not amused GH. I read in the latest issue of ABC Soaps in Depth (http://abcsoapsindepth.com/) that Sarah Brown was only interested in staying in Port Chuck if Claudia was involved with Nikolas, so I have to hope we haven't seen the last of them.

Holy Soviet Union Jason! Sasha the Russian Lady struck out with Sonny, so she figured she'd take the more direct approach with Jason and just start undressing. I have to say, given that he's the boss of a major crime syndicate and absolutely gorgeous, you'd think Jason would be getting more women disrobing down to their red foundation garments. So what do we think ... will Stone Cold take the Russian bait?

I like that Bernie, aka Mr. Lipman, has been getting some air time lately!

Monday, 8/18/08: Loo Looo's in the Loony Bin

I think GH was a little too intense for me today ... Lulu screaming in a straight jacket (a straight jacket?!), Johnny getting beaten down by the cops ... makes you long for those carefree days on Dr. Siegel's couch doesn't it? Speaking of Lunny's former digs ... does this mean we've seen the last of Sal and Lourdes? Something tells me at least dear Lourdes will find herself in Port Charles at some point ... Although Sal could provide some good muscle for Jason, what with his gang background and hatred for the Zaccharas.

Kate was so annoying today I could barely stand it ... have they turned her into a complete whining, selfish, bratty bridezilla or what?! Amazing that Sonny can't resist the lures of the mob, but he finds it very easy to resist other woman, such as Sasha the Russian lady, even with that annoying, nagging Kate in his ear every two seconds. Then again, stick Carly in the back of a limo and the man loses all resolve.

Meanwhile, what in the world is Carly up to with creepy Karpov? How far does she plan to take this whole thing? Is she going to kiss Karpov? Sleep with him? He doesn't seem like the kind of guy you can easily brush off with the "I have a headache" excuse, or "I don't do that on the first date."

Claudia slapping Scott Baldwin ... good stuff.

BTW, I watched a rerun of The Profiler over the weekend and the psycho of the week was none other than a much younger looking Anthony Zacchara. He sure does crazy well!

Monday, 8/11/08: Kate's Skirt Could Cover Your Leftovers

Can a new day please finally dawn on Port Charles so Kate can wear something other than that hideous tin-foil skirt? I haven't commented on Kate much lately because I figure it just goes without saying how irritating her whole bridezilla act is ... but that metallic skirt's been an eye sore for days now! Maybe when she takes it off, she can hold it under her chin and catch a nice sun tan.

BTW, Kate said the wedding is Sept. 26th and that it's less than a month away ... huh?? I guess that's in GH time, where you can wear the same skirt for a week and it's not considered a fashion faux pas.

Spinelli and Maxie are just too cute ... so happy they're showing a lot of these two again. And love how Maxie is becoming the Carly to Spinelli's Stone Cold ... although does this mean that "Spaxie" are destined for only friendship too?

So the fall out from the Nadine-Nikolas lip lock was pretty much what I expected ... but they're definitely leaving the door open wide enough for something to potentially happen between these two in the (near?) future. I might have to stop watching if that happens. Not that I think Claudia is the only option for Nikolas, but Nadine is not an option, period. I'm not even sure why she's on the show. She makes Lulu seem enjoyable to watch. OK, I'll try to stop bitching about Nadine now.

Speaking of Lulu, I doubt she'd be too pleased if she knew Pugsly was on the phone telling Wednesday all about her hallucinations behind her back.

Friday, 8/8/08: Nadine Is the Kiss of Death

Seriously GH? Things seemed to be going so well on Friday. What happened? Nadine was entertaining the idea of shipping herself off halfway across the world with Nurses Without Borders (yes! finally!). And Nikolas and Claudia were finally sharing screen time together after weeks apart. And then the writers had to go ruin the whole thing by having Nadine kiss Nikolas. Bleck. Together, those two are about exciting as Karpov's toupee.

From the couple spoilers I've read, it doesn't sound as if this kiss is the beginning of a beautiful romance for Nadine and Nikolas ... at least not yet anyways. I don't know if the writers are slowly progressing toward what they think is going to be the next incarnation of Nikolas and Emily. If so, it's a huge mistake. Nadine is a grating, one-note character who is undeserving of all the screen time she's been getting lately. On the other hand, Nikolas and Claudia have amazing chemistry ... one of the few pairings on the show I'm genuinely excited to watch. Hopefully, GH will wise up and explore their connection further.

I don't much, if anything, about guns ... but isn't there anything these hit men can do about the "flash of light" that tips off every potential target that they're going to have to dodge a bullet?

Wednesday, 8/7/08: In Cognito Johnny Brings Sexy Back

Wow, I don't even know where to start today ... who lit a fire under Port Chuck?! It was an action-packed Wednesday! First, we see Johnny looking all Justin Timberlake in his sunglasses and army hat disguise. I swore Jessical Biel and a few trailing paparrazzi were going to walk through the door behind him. Then the cops showed up, Underage Lourdes hugged up on Johnny a few times as Lulu glared on, Lunny had sex on the couch, Dead Logan played the piano ... you know, just another day at Professor Seigel's apartment. Speaking of Lunny, didn't Prof. Seigel have a bed, or do these two just really enjoy doing it on that tiny couch?! Guess GH couldn't afford the extra props.

He's such a creepy, kooky little old man, but how could you not love Anthony Zacchara? Wheeling around Port Charles like an exceptionally tanned little daredevil with his Loo Looos and his sharp sense of humor. Just the thought of him and Tracy on a date cracked me up!

Speaking of dates ... if Johnny brought sexy back at the beginning of the episode, Karpov snatched it right away again at the end. Is there anything less appealing than him slurring to Carly in his fake Russian accent that she should get in a car with him and go for a drive? Eeewww. At least he seems to be working on the comb-over ... it's not quite as severe as when he first showed up in PC. So are we really suppose to be worried that he might end up throwing Carly off a balcony?

Ric and Claudia ... so not interested. GH finally hit on a couple with some chemistry ... Nikolas and Claudia ... but of course they drop that like a hot potato so they can put us all to sleep with Claudia and Ric and Nikolas and Nadine. Wake me up when it's over.

BTW, aren't you really jealous of Jason that he has his own personal Jackal to scour the internet? I really really want one of those.

Monday, 7/28/08: Good Lourdes Johnny!

I'm back into my normal GH routine after a bit of a crazy week last week. Thanks to my DVR, I did catch up on all of last week's episodes (as well as the first episode of Nightshift).

So you'd think I'd have tons to write about ... eh, not so much. Seems like the saaaammmeee things have been happening for days now. How did the Logan murder storyline that had me glued to my set initially take such a turn into Dullsville? Thank goodness Scotty Baldwin finally showed up to breathe some life into the Lulu and Johnny Hour. (BTW, does Kin Shriner just not age? Man looks as good as he ever did. Eat your heart out Rick Springfield.)

I've been trying not to harp on GH's blatant disregard for reality. But I just can't help bringing it up ... are Sal and Lourdes really going to leave Prof. Seigel's apartment vacant for months when they could be collecting rent on it ... in New York City of all places? But well, more importantly ... holy revelation! ... Sal and Lourdes' father was killed by the Zaccharas! So why isn't Lourdes turning in Johnny and Lulu ... revenge on her father's murders AND a $100,000 reward?! Don't tell me she's turning all that down because of some two-day old crush on Johnny. There must be something else to it.

Why is Matt Hunter so interested in Anna and Noah?

Is Ric Lansing so desperate for sex that he's willing to bargain with Claudia for it in exchange for getting Johnny acquitted? I've read Internet rumors that GH was going to pair these two up and maybe even do an arraigned marriage. Boy, do they know how to pick the boring ones. I still say Claudia is great with Nikolas (a pairing that hasn't been explored in weeks!) or, possibly even better, Jason!

Tuesday, 7/8/08: Johnny's Girl, Where Can I Find a Woman Like That?

Well, better late than never right? It might have been AFTER Logan attacked Maxie, axed his way through Johnny's door and then Lulu plunged a butcher knife into his abdomen, but Lulu did think to call 911 afterall. Too bad though; by that point, Johnny and Maxie already had other ideas. It make sense though. I would think one of the perks of dating the mob would be quick and easy disposal of any dead bodies that may clutter up your path. Maybe Johnny can get her a cush job at a waste management facility next.

One catch though: Is Claudia really going to buy that Johnny's the one who killed Logan? Not that there's any love lost between those two guys, but I think it would be impossible to step into the middle of that scene and not smell a big ol' blonde rat. Should be interesting to see how Claudia reacts to it all.

Is there anything funnier than that paparazzi photo of Kate's head in Jax's lap?! Oh, it's just downright hysterical ... it warrants at least a two-page spread in Crimson. Get Maha Chang on the line. And I just love watching Carly fly off the handle, bitching at Jason, bitching at Sonny, bitching at Jax. Pure entertainment.

Oh yeah, and Noah Drake returned to GH today.

Monday, 7/7/08: Lulu Thinks 911 Is a Joke

Whoa! So Scotty's Iraq war vet son turned mob bodyguard/wheelchair pusher turned insane stalker Logan Hayes continued to wreak havoc on Port Chuck today. In my last post, I questioned why Lulu didn't immediately run for a phone when she saw Logan attacking Maxie. Well, she finally did run for the phone at the beginning of today's episode ... only to call Lucky, who didn't answer (btw, can't you just picture Lucky on the other end looking at his phone thinking, "oh God, I just can't listen to her right now!") and Maxie of all people, who was laying unconscious on the floor of the Crimson offices! Um, if you had your co-worker lying unconscious and the man who attacked her on his way after you, wouldn't you think to call 911?! When the crazy man starts taking an axe to the door, even then you don't call 911?! I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Lulu still could have had plenty of time to shove a knife through Logan's stomach before Uncle Mac showed up.

In the midst of all that lunacy, the deep, dark Zacchara secret was being revealed that Claudia had seduced Trevor as a teenager so her father would catch the two of them in the act and realize that Trevor was not to be trusted. But the only thing Claudia got for her efforts was a one-way ticket to Milan. It was nice to see a different, more vulnerable side to Claudia throughout the exchange with her father, and while I realize she left the conversation in a bad place ... she storms over to Sonny's and starts taking her clothes off? The funny thing is, Sonny actually looked interested. I'm sure by tomorrow though, we'll suffer through yet another man calling Claudia a whore/tramp/(insert misogynistic term here) and throwing her out on her mini skirt-clad behind.

Ok, the paparazzi opening the door of Kate and Jax's limo and finding Kate with her head in Jax's lap ... priceless. I don't know what's more hilarious ... their compromising position or the fact that paparazzi want Kate's picture.

As much as I love when Carly rails on Kate, it was pretty funny when Jason countered her bitching about Kate kissing Jax with the fact that Carly had sex with Sonny.

Monday, 6/30/08: Carly Not Pregnant, Always Showers Between Lovers

After saying how much I loved Anna in my last post, I was afraid she had succumbed to the dark side when she did some sort of WSB kung fu self-defense move on Patrick because he dared to step within the vicinity of the blessed mother. But she finally came to her senses by the end of today's episode when she announced that she would be testifying for Patrick if a custody hearing between he and Robin ever made it to court. Wow Robin, you've even managed to alienate your own mother.

All this talk about Robert is making me miss him. I know he's scheduled to return to Nightshift, but I would love to see Tristian Rogers pay a visit to GH during the daytime.

So the mob spawn was just a figment of Carly's delicate stomach. I can't believe the bambino is not to be ... especially when things are just getting so good. Jax is confronting Carly about sleeping with Sonny, Sonny is knocking down Jason's door to see if he slept with Carly, Kate is asking Sonny not to keep any secrets between them. Was the test a false negative? I just can't believe this storyline isn't going to come to term, so to speak.

BTW, I love when Carly tells the story of how she slept with both Sonny and Jax on the same night, she always makes a point of saying she took a shower in between her two romps. "And you know, we were both in a really emotional place, so we slept together on the way home from the long-term care facility. And then I got home, and my mind was just all over the place. So then I showered and found Jax ..." Hilarious. There is something to be said for proper hygiene.

So why wouldn't Claudia just kill Nikolas, since he now has her big, dark, dirty secret about Michael's shooting to hang over her head? Regardless, I was sorry to see that when these two were finally paired up again, it was as adversaries. I still believe Claudia and Nikolas have an awesome chemistry and unlike so many storylines that leave me bored and uninspired, I was truly glued to the set to see what would transpire between these two. Why write these two off GH? So we can watch Nadine and her stuffed animals scour the Port Chuck projects for free more clinic patients?

Thursday, 6/26/08: Rome Wasn't Built in a Day, But the Free Clinic Sure Was

Wow, so it seems the free clinic has matured from a rat-infested, abandoned crack den to a full-functioning medical facility as quickly as most children mature on soap operas. To complete the fantasy, Nadine saves the day by going into the projects with a stuffed duck. Uh, have the GH writers ever been to the projects? Something tells me bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Nadine and her little ducky wouldn't be quite so well received.

So what we have been anticipating for weeks ... Carly acknowledges the mob spawn. I love Carly, but she's actually complaining that Sonny will want rights to the child? Hmm, maybe you should have thought about that before you had sex with Leisure Suit Larry on the way home from your comatose son's permanent care facility! The storyline definitely has me interested though, so I'll let the hypocrisy slide ...

I've been hearing about this new character coming to GH for weeks now played by the actor (Jason Cook maybe? I'm too tired to remember names!) who use to be on Days of Our Lives with the actress who plays Maxie. Today was his first day on the show, and I was unimpressed. I was expecting a hottie ... not some smarmy looking guy with a full beard. Full beards are so ... well, come to think of it, they were never in. Oh well, maybe he'll start to grow on me once he starts talking.

Favorite line today was when Claudia said, "His name is Za-CAR-a" in that ridiculous accent that I think is suppose to pass for Italian. Since you say no other words with an accent, I think we'll let you slide Claudia if you use the American pronunciation of Zacchara.

Friday, 6/20/08: Beware, Asian Virus Known to Cause Boredom

So Jason has succumbed to the Asian something-or-other virus, but so far is just suffering from a high fever and a bad attitude. No delirum or truth serum-type effects, as promised ... at least not yet. I still can't quite figure out why GH threw Jason, Claudia and Spinelli into quarantine together. I think it would be interesting if Jason had some feelings of affection for Claudia (romantic or otherwise) in spite of himself, but he seems to express only one emotion when they're together -- dislike. So where's the conflict? Why keep throwing these two characters together in life or death situations? I think I'm bored.

BTW, when Claudia flexes her insanely muscular arms, it's a little scary.

I had vowed to take a hiatus from talking about Lulu, but GH doesn't make it easy to avoid her by putting her on every blessed day. Friday we were treated to a Lulu and Johnny romp at the Quartermaine boathouse ... all wet and steamy and giggly until it dawned on Lulu that she had brought Johnny to the one place where she had seduced Dylan and lost her virginity. She confessed this sordid little detail of her past to Johnny -- including the resulting pregnancy -- but he seemed to get over it in record time. Probably because at that point, he just wanted to get some.

Monday 6/9/08:The Voices in Johnny's Head

Well, I was close. It wasn't garden shears, but Johnny reached for the nearest object he could find in the love shack baaaabbbbyy and looked like he was about to bash his own skull in with it. So yes, Johnny finally snaps and what does our dear Lulu do? Yep, keeps right on yapping. Do you think the writers actually try to make her the most annoying person on earth?

I have to say, I haven't been sure what to make of Claudia for months now (do I like her, do I not like, would I rather stick her in a crate with Lulu and ship them both off to Italy), but I really started to like the girl when she was staying at Windamere. I'm not saying I wanted to see her and Nikolas blossom into the next super couple, but the two had chemistry and I couldn't wait to see what would happen next. And now that Claudia's cooked up this little scheme to pay Maxie to seduce her brother ... well, it's official. I like this crazy bitch!

Actually, seeing Nikolas and gosh, what's her name ... the blonde ... with the yellow this is what I wore to my spring semi-formal dress ... Nadine! ... made me realize just how interesting Nikolas and Claudia actually were. Nadine's just a little too aww shucks and if Nikolas is staying true to his "I'll always love Emily, there will never be anyone else" mantra, then really, what could he and Nadine possibly do to entertain us? Put on a finger puppet show?