Wednesday, 8/27/08: Ooohhh, Kate's in Trouble

So totally didn't see the whole Jax calling out Kate for framing Carly coming. I say it's about time the man stood up for his wife and stopped siding with snooty-puss Kate. And about time that someone put Ms. Crimson in her place. Threatening to fire her from the magazine ... classic! Someone get Giselle on the line!

It took forever for GH to finally wrap up the tedious, annoying Robin-Patrick storyline where they just constantly bickered over whether or not Patrick would play a part in the baby's life ... Patrick would beg, Robin would be a whiny brat, Patrick would beg, Robin would be a whiny brat, and so on and so on ... well, now they've just recycled that so mind-numbing I fast-forwarded thru most of it storyline. Only now, Patrick is begging Robin to married him and ... surprise, surprise ... Robin is being a whiny brat. Sick of it. Although it was interesting to hear the Nightshift reference to Robert ... at least it explains why Anna and Robert are in the same town and not running into each other.

Tuesday, 8/26/08: Meanwhile, Where's Molly?

While I'm happy to see that Ric's gettin' a little somethin' (since it seems so few of Port Chuck's residents are), where is poor Molly at? She already has to play second fiddle to Christina "I'm Sonny's Kid" Corinthos, and now Ric takes her away under the guise of some quality father-daughter time and probably sticks her with some babysitter while he's getting busy with the law association floozy. But nice to see that Ric might put on his pants long enough to help his client Johnny beat a murder rap.

Finally someone tells Nadine to STFU ... well, not in so many words, but we all got the message. This was really one of GH's more ridiculous plot lines. Not only is resident in neurology Matt Hunter the only doctor in all of GH who can perform Spinelli's spleenectomy, but Nadine is so convinced that he's a part of a counterfeit drug ring that she's afraid he'll forget to check whether or not Spinelli's bowel is obstructed during the operation. What a nonsensical mess. The writers must have spilled coffee on the original script and tried to piece it back together.

As much as I love Carly, she's almost as hypocritical as Alexis. She's so terrified of her sons getting caught in the middle of mob gunfire, but she's more than happy to put herself directly in the line of fire and in the middle of a potential Jason-Karpov war. Because as long as Morgan doesn't get shot, it's okay if he goes through the living hell of losing his mother.

Meanwhile, would it have killed GH to have cast an ATTRACTIVE Karpov?! No offense to POK (portrayer of Karpov) but wouldn't it be a far more intriguing storyline if Carly was flirting with the ultra-dangerous, HOT gangster?!

Loved the Lulu-Laura mother-daughter bonding!

Monday, 8/18/08: Loo Looo's in the Loony Bin

I think GH was a little too intense for me today ... Lulu screaming in a straight jacket (a straight jacket?!), Johnny getting beaten down by the cops ... makes you long for those carefree days on Dr. Siegel's couch doesn't it? Speaking of Lunny's former digs ... does this mean we've seen the last of Sal and Lourdes? Something tells me at least dear Lourdes will find herself in Port Charles at some point ... Although Sal could provide some good muscle for Jason, what with his gang background and hatred for the Zaccharas.

Kate was so annoying today I could barely stand it ... have they turned her into a complete whining, selfish, bratty bridezilla or what?! Amazing that Sonny can't resist the lures of the mob, but he finds it very easy to resist other woman, such as Sasha the Russian lady, even with that annoying, nagging Kate in his ear every two seconds. Then again, stick Carly in the back of a limo and the man loses all resolve.

Meanwhile, what in the world is Carly up to with creepy Karpov? How far does she plan to take this whole thing? Is she going to kiss Karpov? Sleep with him? He doesn't seem like the kind of guy you can easily brush off with the "I have a headache" excuse, or "I don't do that on the first date."

Claudia slapping Scott Baldwin ... good stuff.

BTW, I watched a rerun of The Profiler over the weekend and the psycho of the week was none other than a much younger looking Anthony Zacchara. He sure does crazy well!

Thursday, 8/7/08: Karpov's Powers of Seduction

Aren't soap operas suppose to be about love and sex and FANTASY?! So when a powerful businessman is trying to seduce Carly with the promise of a warehouse full of diamonds and furs and sports cars, how do I get swept up in this fantasy when the man is as dog ugly and paunchy as Karpov?! (And no offense to the actor who plays Karpov, as I'm sure he's quite a lovely man in real life.) I mean, of course I don't expect the aging Russian mobster to look like Brad Pitt, but please people, give me something to work with here ... maybe like a Vincent D'Onofrio type from Law & Order: Criminal Intent. But seriously folks, not only is he hard on the eyes, but he's spouting off lines like "I lived in, what you say in America, zee projects" and "I like you more and more as time passes, even though I've only known you for 15 minutes" and "I WANT YOUR GRATITUDE AS A WOMAN"?! At least GH is consistent in making almost every male character on the show misogynistic. Pretty slick of Ms. Carly to nab his PDA though ... that is what you call in America zee pick-pock-et.

Speaking of turn-offs ... soooo don't want to hear about Kate's physical aching in Paris. BTW, Sonny is setting her up for one heck of a fall, isn't he?

What in the world was Jerry Jax babbling about? Snoozefest.

How awesome is Dead Logan? Is that a knife in your stomach or are you just happy to see me? I really felt his pain while he was banging on those piano keys.

Wednesday, 8/7/08: In Cognito Johnny Brings Sexy Back

Wow, I don't even know where to start today ... who lit a fire under Port Chuck?! It was an action-packed Wednesday! First, we see Johnny looking all Justin Timberlake in his sunglasses and army hat disguise. I swore Jessical Biel and a few trailing paparrazzi were going to walk through the door behind him. Then the cops showed up, Underage Lourdes hugged up on Johnny a few times as Lulu glared on, Lunny had sex on the couch, Dead Logan played the piano ... you know, just another day at Professor Seigel's apartment. Speaking of Lunny, didn't Prof. Seigel have a bed, or do these two just really enjoy doing it on that tiny couch?! Guess GH couldn't afford the extra props.

He's such a creepy, kooky little old man, but how could you not love Anthony Zacchara? Wheeling around Port Charles like an exceptionally tanned little daredevil with his Loo Looos and his sharp sense of humor. Just the thought of him and Tracy on a date cracked me up!

Speaking of dates ... if Johnny brought sexy back at the beginning of the episode, Karpov snatched it right away again at the end. Is there anything less appealing than him slurring to Carly in his fake Russian accent that she should get in a car with him and go for a drive? Eeewww. At least he seems to be working on the comb-over ... it's not quite as severe as when he first showed up in PC. So are we really suppose to be worried that he might end up throwing Carly off a balcony?

Ric and Claudia ... so not interested. GH finally hit on a couple with some chemistry ... Nikolas and Claudia ... but of course they drop that like a hot potato so they can put us all to sleep with Claudia and Ric and Nikolas and Nadine. Wake me up when it's over.

BTW, aren't you really jealous of Jason that he has his own personal Jackal to scour the internet? I really really want one of those.

Tuesday, 8/5/08: The Bitch Is Back

We got a little taste of her yesterday, but it was great to see Bitchy Carly return in full force today. For the last couple weeks, I couldn't believe that she would actually let Kate get away with threatening her marriage to Jax, and sure enough, Carly very much has plans for revenge. However, I was shocked that she would actually suggest to Jason that he eliminate Sonny ... maybe she knows by now, much like the viewers, that the many threats against the lives of Sonny, Jason, etc., never really do pan out.

If Kate was clever, she should have snuck a photo of Carly in that tie-dye dress and run it in Crimson under "fashion don't" with one of those black bars over Carly's eyes.

Something must be in the water because I actually enjoyed watching Lulu's scenes today with Laura (aka, the back of that blonde woman's head who's obviously not Genie Francis). What's next? Hoping they show more of Robin's video blog?! Seriously though, it made me even more anxious for Laura's return ... which I don't think is for a couple more weeks.

Boy, Lourdes didn't waste any time taking advantage of Lulu's absence, suggesting that she and Johnny run away together. I knew Lourdes looked younger, but I'm wondering just how young she is. I was assuming around 19, but Johnny mentioned her being a minor today. So that must mean she's more like 16 or 17?!

Nadine ... ugh. Maybe now that Lulu isn't getting on my nerves quite as much, I can use the energy to compalin about Nadine every day. Really, does anyone like this character?!

Monday, 8/4/08: Carly Puts Kate on Notice

I'm not quite sure what was up with her tie-dye dress, but I did like how Carly finally called out Kate today for setting her up and screwing with her marriage to Jax. I love when these two cat fight ... as long as Carly wins of course!

Okay, Scary Dead Logan actually freaked me out! I had heard that the actor who played Logan would be back to film some "from the grave" scenes, but I thought he'd at least have some lines! Well, I guess you really can't top "you'll never get over me" as parting words for the woman who plunged a knife in your stomach. Speaking of, did Lulu actually take Johnny's money and run?! Where did she go? And will Johnny go after her?! Oh, of course he will. They can't keep Lunny apart for long!

So couldn't Nadine have made a run for the window when Matt went into the bathroom to change into his towel? And what happened to his four-hour surgery? Oh, who am I kidding, I really don't care.

Tuesday, 7/29/08: The Karpov Is Out of the Bag

Bitter old Ric let the Karpov cat out of the bag yesterday by telling Jason about Sonny's dealings with the Russian mobster ... but today, a visit from Claudia and The Jackal's sleuthing confirmed the connection. Even though Claudia insisted that Sonny is not working against Jason with Karpov, you could tell the news was not sitting well with the tall, silent one.

I usually love Carly, but it's been a bit too much the last few days. She's throwing everything but the kitchen sink at Jax (sex, liquor, romantic memories, bonding over Michael's accident) and he's making a complete fool out of her in return. Throwing her out of his hotel room, throwing himself out of a plane to get away from her ... as soon as my husband embarrassed me in front of a colleague by throwing me out of his hotel room, I would have been on the next plane back to Port Charles, not pouring myself into a tight red dress and licking up strawberries to turn him on.

I realize this whole counterfeit drug storyline looks great on paper, but it's really turning into one big snoozefest. Part of the problem is that it's focused around two couples with zero chemistry -- Sam and Lucky and the even more yawn-inducing Nikolas and Nadine -- as well as a new character, our dear Matt Hunter, who looks more like he just left a frat party than the menancing, underhanded doc he's suppose to be portraying. He's Dr. Ian Devlin Light. Now that was a character who instantly envoked creepy and sinister.

Monday, 7/21/08: Dr. Hunter Proves the "Coupon Joke" Still a Great First-Date Ice Breaker

Poor Carly. I know she's done far more devious things, but I just couldn't help but feel sorry for her when bitchy ol' Kate set her up today. Wonder how Carly's going to retaliate ... although right now she seems far more concerned with trying to keep Jax from walking out the door.

We've been seeing a lot more of Nikolas and Nadine lately, especially with this counterfeit drug storyline ramping up. Nadine is nice and all, but after seeing Nikolas with Claudia (when are they going to reunite those two?!) it's obvious how much Nik and Nadine lack chemistry. YAWN. I actually enjoyed seeing Nadine and Dr. Hunter together much more ... what can I say, he won me over with the "I had a coupon" joke :)

Of course, the Lulu-Johnny insanity from Friday spilled over into today. I love how the PCPD is trying to figure out who "smuggled" the gun into the police station. I don't think you can really call it smuggling when someone just walks into the station with their hand shoved in their purse and no one even gives them a second look. At least the writers gave one character some sense ... Nikolas was able to figure out what the rest of the PCPD, including Lulu's brother, could not -- that Lulu was in on the escape and not a defenseless hostage.

So Johnny confessed his love to Lulu today. I'll tell ya, nothing more romantic than summer love, a young couple on the run ... I'd be very into these two if I could actually stand shrieky, grating, childish Loo Looo. But even though he doesn't look quite as good in a tight shirt, I'd take Maxie and Spinelli over these two any day.

How can Sonny really consider himself retired when he's providing "consulting" services to Comb-Over Karpov, the Russian Mobster? Seems like a slippery slope to me ...

Monday, 7/14/08: Monday Is the New Friday

So forget Fridays; today was the mother of all cliffhangers on General Hospital.

First, I can't tell you how much I love Maxie and Spinelli. Although after hearing that Matt Hunter was brought on as a potential love interest for Maxie, I had pretty much resigned myself that her and Spin would always just be friends. Even after seeing that commercial that GH has been playing for days now -- the one where it looks like Max and Spin are about to have sex and the voice-over guy says something like, "Tuesday is the day that Spinelli's dream finally comes true" -- I figured it must be some trick, like Spinelli was just dreaming it all. But after today's kiss, it looks like it might really happen for these two ... well, at least once! Love how she confided the whole truth about the Crabby Commando's murder to Spin, and how sweet he was to her ... what a cutie!

Then we have Uncle Mac setting Claudia and Jason free and claiming he knows who killed Logan. If he found something in Claudia's car or on surveillance to implicate Johnny, then I can't imagine that he'd let Claudia go. And I can't imagine he's picked up on Loo Looo's awful attempts to cover her guilt ... only because that would wrap up the storyline too quickly. Oh Uncle Mac, what do you have hiding up your tan Sears suit sleeve this time?

The show also ended with Kate claiming to Sonny that she'd have to be seen in public with Jax again, as the gossip is doing Crimson a world of good in the publicity department. Boy, this woman is really pressing her luck. Sonny, the silk-suited ticking time bomb, actually didn't explode when he saw the photograph of her head in Jax's lap AND she's just convinced him to walk away the next time an irate Carly attacks ... geez, cut your losses Kate and if you really want to help Crimson, focus on publishing the best damn article possible on skinny belts.

Monday, 7/7/08: Lulu Thinks 911 Is a Joke

Whoa! So Scotty's Iraq war vet son turned mob bodyguard/wheelchair pusher turned insane stalker Logan Hayes continued to wreak havoc on Port Chuck today. In my last post, I questioned why Lulu didn't immediately run for a phone when she saw Logan attacking Maxie. Well, she finally did run for the phone at the beginning of today's episode ... only to call Lucky, who didn't answer (btw, can't you just picture Lucky on the other end looking at his phone thinking, "oh God, I just can't listen to her right now!") and Maxie of all people, who was laying unconscious on the floor of the Crimson offices! Um, if you had your co-worker lying unconscious and the man who attacked her on his way after you, wouldn't you think to call 911?! When the crazy man starts taking an axe to the door, even then you don't call 911?! I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Lulu still could have had plenty of time to shove a knife through Logan's stomach before Uncle Mac showed up.

In the midst of all that lunacy, the deep, dark Zacchara secret was being revealed that Claudia had seduced Trevor as a teenager so her father would catch the two of them in the act and realize that Trevor was not to be trusted. But the only thing Claudia got for her efforts was a one-way ticket to Milan. It was nice to see a different, more vulnerable side to Claudia throughout the exchange with her father, and while I realize she left the conversation in a bad place ... she storms over to Sonny's and starts taking her clothes off? The funny thing is, Sonny actually looked interested. I'm sure by tomorrow though, we'll suffer through yet another man calling Claudia a whore/tramp/(insert misogynistic term here) and throwing her out on her mini skirt-clad behind.

Ok, the paparazzi opening the door of Kate and Jax's limo and finding Kate with her head in Jax's lap ... priceless. I don't know what's more hilarious ... their compromising position or the fact that paparazzi want Kate's picture.

As much as I love when Carly rails on Kate, it was pretty funny when Jason countered her bitching about Kate kissing Jax with the fact that Carly had sex with Sonny.

Monday, 6/30/08: Carly Not Pregnant, Always Showers Between Lovers

After saying how much I loved Anna in my last post, I was afraid she had succumbed to the dark side when she did some sort of WSB kung fu self-defense move on Patrick because he dared to step within the vicinity of the blessed mother. But she finally came to her senses by the end of today's episode when she announced that she would be testifying for Patrick if a custody hearing between he and Robin ever made it to court. Wow Robin, you've even managed to alienate your own mother.

All this talk about Robert is making me miss him. I know he's scheduled to return to Nightshift, but I would love to see Tristian Rogers pay a visit to GH during the daytime.

So the mob spawn was just a figment of Carly's delicate stomach. I can't believe the bambino is not to be ... especially when things are just getting so good. Jax is confronting Carly about sleeping with Sonny, Sonny is knocking down Jason's door to see if he slept with Carly, Kate is asking Sonny not to keep any secrets between them. Was the test a false negative? I just can't believe this storyline isn't going to come to term, so to speak.

BTW, I love when Carly tells the story of how she slept with both Sonny and Jax on the same night, she always makes a point of saying she took a shower in between her two romps. "And you know, we were both in a really emotional place, so we slept together on the way home from the long-term care facility. And then I got home, and my mind was just all over the place. So then I showered and found Jax ..." Hilarious. There is something to be said for proper hygiene.

So why wouldn't Claudia just kill Nikolas, since he now has her big, dark, dirty secret about Michael's shooting to hang over her head? Regardless, I was sorry to see that when these two were finally paired up again, it was as adversaries. I still believe Claudia and Nikolas have an awesome chemistry and unlike so many storylines that leave me bored and uninspired, I was truly glued to the set to see what would transpire between these two. Why write these two off GH? So we can watch Nadine and her stuffed animals scour the Port Chuck projects for free more clinic patients?

Thursday, 6/26/08: Rome Wasn't Built in a Day, But the Free Clinic Sure Was

Wow, so it seems the free clinic has matured from a rat-infested, abandoned crack den to a full-functioning medical facility as quickly as most children mature on soap operas. To complete the fantasy, Nadine saves the day by going into the projects with a stuffed duck. Uh, have the GH writers ever been to the projects? Something tells me bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Nadine and her little ducky wouldn't be quite so well received.

So what we have been anticipating for weeks ... Carly acknowledges the mob spawn. I love Carly, but she's actually complaining that Sonny will want rights to the child? Hmm, maybe you should have thought about that before you had sex with Leisure Suit Larry on the way home from your comatose son's permanent care facility! The storyline definitely has me interested though, so I'll let the hypocrisy slide ...

I've been hearing about this new character coming to GH for weeks now played by the actor (Jason Cook maybe? I'm too tired to remember names!) who use to be on Days of Our Lives with the actress who plays Maxie. Today was his first day on the show, and I was unimpressed. I was expecting a hottie ... not some smarmy looking guy with a full beard. Full beards are so ... well, come to think of it, they were never in. Oh well, maybe he'll start to grow on me once he starts talking.

Favorite line today was when Claudia said, "His name is Za-CAR-a" in that ridiculous accent that I think is suppose to pass for Italian. Since you say no other words with an accent, I think we'll let you slide Claudia if you use the American pronunciation of Zacchara.

Wednesday, 6/11/08: Should I Sleep With Sonny ... This Week?

Funny that Carly spent so much time today contemplating whether or not she should sleep with Sonny ... I mean, considering she JUST slept with Sonny! All of the Sonny and Carly talk that's dominated the past two days caught me off guard ... but it did get me thinking. Will Sonny and Carly ever get back together? I don't know how Carly could ever justify the decision after claiming that staying away from Sonny is the only way to keep her children safe, but their long history and strong connection seem to always keep the possibility alive. Of course, we all see a Carly pregnancy coming a mile away (no way a soap would have a character sleep with two men on the same night and not capitalize on the potential repercussions!) and I just gotta bet the little one comes out of the womb with slicked back hair and a silk suit.

And was Carly right? Is Sonny only "the real Sonny" when he's with her? Of course, unlike Carly, we have the benefit of knowing Kate's true past with Sonny. Meanwhile, where are Connie Falconari's parents/family? Have they ever been addressed? If Kate Howard is so world-reknowned, no one's spotted a photo of her and thought, oh, there's my long-lost daughter/sister/cousin/etc?

From what I've read online and in soap magazines, it seems that viewers have really taken to Max and Diane. I don't get this one at all. I've always found Diane entertaining, but Max is just like a big, dumb block of wood. Which has served him well as Sonny's rarely verbal body guard. I'm just not seeing a different side to Max with Diane, and I'm not invested in these two at all. They're thisclose to getting fast-forwarded through.