Thursday, 7/31/08: Don't Let the Door Hit Ya Eli

It looks like Eli Love got wheeled off into the sunset today. It's about time ... enough with this guy and his horrendous accent already. I just didn't see the point in that entire storyline ... unless GH really thought the audience needed to be reminded about one or a thousand times that Anna Devane can do a high kick. Yeah, we get it. Granny can kick butt. Yawn.

BTW, doesn't anyone think it was wrong for Bratzilla Robin to arrange for Max and Milo to get the living crap beat out of them just to inflate her poor super hot, super spy mother's ego?!

So boring ol' Matt Hunter was sniffing around Anna, Noah, et al. again today. Let me guess, Matt is Noah's son and therefore, Patrick's half brother (who, it just so happens, he can't stand)? Looks like a highly original character might be about to meet a highly original storyline. I'd comment about him and Nadine today, but I'm so bored with those two, I might just fall asleep on my keyboard.

I had initially hoped for a Johnny and Lulu-free day, but I have to say, Lourdes has shaken up this storyline in a good way. I just love how she pisses off Lulu and blatantly chases after Johnny. I still think her keeping Johnny's secret is a bit of stretch (because she thinks he's a "nice guy"??) but I'll roll with it for now since it's so entertaining to watch her rattle Lulu's cage.

I didn't think too much about Monica getting out of rehab until she returned to the Quartermaine mansion ... listening to her and Tracy fight back and forth truly never gets old! Speaking of the Quartermaines, Alan hasn't shown up in his black track suit in quite some time.

Tuesday, 7/29/08: The Karpov Is Out of the Bag

Bitter old Ric let the Karpov cat out of the bag yesterday by telling Jason about Sonny's dealings with the Russian mobster ... but today, a visit from Claudia and The Jackal's sleuthing confirmed the connection. Even though Claudia insisted that Sonny is not working against Jason with Karpov, you could tell the news was not sitting well with the tall, silent one.

I usually love Carly, but it's been a bit too much the last few days. She's throwing everything but the kitchen sink at Jax (sex, liquor, romantic memories, bonding over Michael's accident) and he's making a complete fool out of her in return. Throwing her out of his hotel room, throwing himself out of a plane to get away from her ... as soon as my husband embarrassed me in front of a colleague by throwing me out of his hotel room, I would have been on the next plane back to Port Charles, not pouring myself into a tight red dress and licking up strawberries to turn him on.

I realize this whole counterfeit drug storyline looks great on paper, but it's really turning into one big snoozefest. Part of the problem is that it's focused around two couples with zero chemistry -- Sam and Lucky and the even more yawn-inducing Nikolas and Nadine -- as well as a new character, our dear Matt Hunter, who looks more like he just left a frat party than the menancing, underhanded doc he's suppose to be portraying. He's Dr. Ian Devlin Light. Now that was a character who instantly envoked creepy and sinister.

Monday, 7/28/08: Good Lourdes Johnny!

I'm back into my normal GH routine after a bit of a crazy week last week. Thanks to my DVR, I did catch up on all of last week's episodes (as well as the first episode of Nightshift).

So you'd think I'd have tons to write about ... eh, not so much. Seems like the saaaammmeee things have been happening for days now. How did the Logan murder storyline that had me glued to my set initially take such a turn into Dullsville? Thank goodness Scotty Baldwin finally showed up to breathe some life into the Lulu and Johnny Hour. (BTW, does Kin Shriner just not age? Man looks as good as he ever did. Eat your heart out Rick Springfield.)

I've been trying not to harp on GH's blatant disregard for reality. But I just can't help bringing it up ... are Sal and Lourdes really going to leave Prof. Seigel's apartment vacant for months when they could be collecting rent on it ... in New York City of all places? But well, more importantly ... holy revelation! ... Sal and Lourdes' father was killed by the Zaccharas! So why isn't Lourdes turning in Johnny and Lulu ... revenge on her father's murders AND a $100,000 reward?! Don't tell me she's turning all that down because of some two-day old crush on Johnny. There must be something else to it.

Why is Matt Hunter so interested in Anna and Noah?

Is Ric Lansing so desperate for sex that he's willing to bargain with Claudia for it in exchange for getting Johnny acquitted? I've read Internet rumors that GH was going to pair these two up and maybe even do an arraigned marriage. Boy, do they know how to pick the boring ones. I still say Claudia is great with Nikolas (a pairing that hasn't been explored in weeks!) or, possibly even better, Jason!

Tuesday, 7/22/08: Technical Difficulties

I wrote a long post about today's episode, went to "publish" it ... and then the web site crashed and I lost the whole thing. Sigh.

So in lieu of my fabulous, witty, insightful post (since I'm just too tired to recreate it) a few questions to ponder:

-Are Carly and Jax really headed for divorce court, or will the marriage be saved?

-How soon before Carly retaliates against Kate for sabotaging her marriage? Will Carly (and Spinelli) finally unearth Connie Falconari?

-If not with each other, when is GH going to pair up Claudia and Jason with someone? How many times can Jason and Elizabeth accidentally bump each other and look sad, and Claudia throw herself at Sonny, only to be rejected? You've got your hottest stars with no love interests, GH?

-How downright creepy is Anthony Zacchara? Cutting Trevor's heart out of his chest and making him eat it ... enough said.

Monday, 7/21/08: Dr. Hunter Proves the "Coupon Joke" Still a Great First-Date Ice Breaker

Poor Carly. I know she's done far more devious things, but I just couldn't help but feel sorry for her when bitchy ol' Kate set her up today. Wonder how Carly's going to retaliate ... although right now she seems far more concerned with trying to keep Jax from walking out the door.

We've been seeing a lot more of Nikolas and Nadine lately, especially with this counterfeit drug storyline ramping up. Nadine is nice and all, but after seeing Nikolas with Claudia (when are they going to reunite those two?!) it's obvious how much Nik and Nadine lack chemistry. YAWN. I actually enjoyed seeing Nadine and Dr. Hunter together much more ... what can I say, he won me over with the "I had a coupon" joke :)

Of course, the Lulu-Johnny insanity from Friday spilled over into today. I love how the PCPD is trying to figure out who "smuggled" the gun into the police station. I don't think you can really call it smuggling when someone just walks into the station with their hand shoved in their purse and no one even gives them a second look. At least the writers gave one character some sense ... Nikolas was able to figure out what the rest of the PCPD, including Lulu's brother, could not -- that Lulu was in on the escape and not a defenseless hostage.

So Johnny confessed his love to Lulu today. I'll tell ya, nothing more romantic than summer love, a young couple on the run ... I'd be very into these two if I could actually stand shrieky, grating, childish Loo Looo. But even though he doesn't look quite as good in a tight shirt, I'd take Maxie and Spinelli over these two any day.

How can Sonny really consider himself retired when he's providing "consulting" services to Comb-Over Karpov, the Russian Mobster? Seems like a slippery slope to me ...

Friday, 7/18/08: Reality Has No Place in Port Charles

I realize that soap operas and reality often don't mesh, and viewers have to suspend a bit of disbelief, but it's like the GH writers aren't even trying at this point. I almost have no words for how ridiculous Friday's episode was. Preposterous storyline and sloppy writing ... just when I thought the show was really delivering with the Logan murder plot. So Lulu's plan was to walk into the PCPD with a gun and what, threaten them to release Johnny? Because it's not like anyone else in the PCPD might have a gun too. It's best to threaten unarmed people with a gun, Lulu.

I complained in a previous post about how unrealistic Johnny's steady stream of visitors to the PCPD interrogation room was ... but now you mean to tell me the visitors aren't even frisked? Especially when you have known mobsters going in and out at will? There's a higher level of security to get into a baseball game than to see a prisoner at the local police station?? At it's not like Lulu's behavior wouldn't set off any red flags, given her hand was shoved in her purse the whole time. Uncle Mac should be forced to hand in his resignation immediately.

So Johnny, always the quick thinker, grabs the gun and again takes the fall for Lulu's stupidity by pretending to hold her hostage with it. I'm tempted to give him a pass because he looks really good in that size-too-small shirt he's been wearing for the past several days, but come on ... they couldn't have shoved the gun back into Lulu's purse? Because we know that's the last place anyone would think to look in the PCPD.

BTW, was it intentional to have Karpov the Russian mobster have such a horribly obvious toupee? Or is that the actor's horribly obvious toupee?

Thursday, 7/17/08: Worst. Cover-up. Ever.

I was plagued by computer problems all last night, but thank goodness my TV hasn't stopped working ... lots going on at the Hospital these days. For instance, what in the world is Loo Looo doing walking into the PCPD with a gun?! She's been so incredibly annoying lately, frankly I don't even care what she does. You mean to tell me Johnny isn't having any second thoughts about taking the fall for this girl after she comes screeching into his "office" (ie, the interrogation room)?! Eee gads ... I'd ask them to put me back in my cell if the alternative was listening to that shreaky nonsense. BTW, since when does an inmate get to set up shop in the interrogation room of a police station and entertain a steady stream of visitors? Why doesn't Uncle Mac stock it with cocktails and hors d'vours too?

But if there's any upside to the Johnny and Loo Looo train wreck ... it's that Johnny is really, really hot.

So can no one keep a secret in Port Charles? On one hand, I see that Spinelli was concerned about Maxie and therefore went to Stone Cold with her secret. On the other hand, I'm kinda pissed at him that he betrayed her trust. But now, all hell's breaking loose ... Jason is busting into Loo Looo's room to tell her that he knows she did it, Spin is confessing to Johnny that now he and Jason know, Maxie is running to Jason for help ... Geez people, just take an ad out in the Port Charles Gazette.

I can't say I'm interested in this whole counterfeit drug storyline. Especially with this Matt Hunter at the center of it all. Even with his attempts to look menacing with all that facial hair, he just comes off as a wimpy kid. And I just don't like him. He bores me.

Eli Love ... awful Australian accent. And really, a little too old and weathered in the face to be worrying about dating a grandmother.