Welcome to Bittertown. Population: Claire

Boy, did I pick the wrong day to set time aside for a GH recap. Even with two major characters returning to the Chuckles, there was very little in the way of action--unless you consider Max and Milo groping each other on Jason's couch as "action." (More on that later.)

Oh Claire, bitter does not look good on you, girl. Dumped by Sonny faster than you can say "what woman in Port Charles hasn't he taken to the island," she's channeling her hurt feelings back into that whole "I'm going to put Sonny away for life" nonsense. Yawn. Because that worked out so well the first time you tried it. And we all know, Claire, that you're just a homemade pasta dinner and a silk robe away from crying "conflict of interest" to your superiors again. But after finding Michael in Sonny's office, she threatens to report the parole violation and send Michael back to Pentonville. Ah yes, the infamous Judge Carroll and his terms of parole still loom large.

Lockdown!

In the wake of the disappearance of Baby Aiden Cassadine--or Buzz, as Liz would like him to be called--General Hospital is put on emergency lockdown. No one can enter or exit the building, and everyone must clear the hallways. And surprise, surprise, the cop assigned to the case is none other than Lucky--also known by the nursing staff as that guy who was peering through the blinds into the delivery room during Buzzby's birth.

The Buzz About Aiden Alexisomething Cassadine

So are they really going to call this kid Buzz? Because for the record, I'm not on board with that. Regardless, much to my boredom, little Buzzby dominated today's episode as we led up to his much anticipated, well, buzz-napping. (OK, I'll stop now. Or, at least, I'll try.)

Franco Gets His Kicks on Country Road 66

Franco moved into some new digs on Friday's episode of General Hospital, which we later found out is the old Lockland Mansion on Country Road 66--apparently a lucky number of sorts for the artist (he also gave Maxie 66 red roses). After clearing away some dead leaves and debris, Franco quickly set out to make the place his own with some high-end interior decorating, spray-painting his signature "CO77X" on the wall and propping up his assistant Leonardo (yes, he named the toy monkey and gave him a position in the Franco administration) on the mantle.

The Countdown to Car Bomb Friday Is On

Today's episode laid a lot of groundwork for what is sure to be one heck of a "Cliffhanger Friday" tomorrow before the long holiday weekend--what with cars about to blow up and serial killer Franco lurking through the streets of Port Charles. Sonny gathered together Milo and Max at the restaurant to put the final touches on the Johnny car bomb plan. I love how Sonny emphasized to Milo and Max to make sure nothing can be traced back to him. The entire town knows Sonny wants Johnny dead more than anything. Even if police can't trace physical evidence back to Sonny, well, his emotionally scarred 17-year-old daughter who hates him is going to know, his estranged son who hates him is going to know, the mother of said estranged son who Sonny's been trying to woo back since she arrived in Port Charles is going to know ... and the list goes on. Sonny makes less sense than even the Port Charles legal system and medical system combined. Really Sonny, you don't need a crystal ball or a psychic to predict that the only thing blowing up worse than Johnny's car is this plan, right in your face.