New Poll! What Would You Like to See Permanently Banned From General Hospital?

I've posted a new poll here at the Nurses Station (in the upper right-hand corner of the site)--What would you like to see permanently banned from General Hospital?--and I thought I'd break down the choices for you in case you're having trouble deciding. Also, feel free to expand on your choice, or suggest a choice I may have overlooked, in the comments section.

Suzanne's Cleavage
When Brenda's assistant Suzanne arrived on General Hospital, well, she came baring gifts (see what I did there?). Now, wherever she goes--Rome, Port Charles--it's a sure bet that her overexposed cleavage will be leading the way. Suzanne is an attractive woman, but she's doing herself a disservice with this far-from-flattering look day in and day out. It also doesn't help that she appears to have gotten a really bad sunburn on her chest and forgotten to moisturize afterwards--the words wrinkled, discolored and blotchy come to mind. Plus, if her tops' necklines get any lower, GH is going to have to move over to cable.

Here's hoping those brusk upstate New York winters encourage Suzanne to invest in some turtlenecks and scarves.

STONE!!!

Kleenex, my fellow GHers. Lots and lots of Kleenex. That's how I got through today's Robin and Stone scenes. It was all kinds of emotional and heart wrenching and nostalgic. And sweet bajeezus, if Michael Sutton doesn't look even hotter than he did in the 90s.

Let's just take a moment to bask in the Stone-ness of it all, shall we?


Content Stone





Playful Stone



Attentive Stone

I particularly loved when he told Robin at the end, "That's why I'm here. Because I'm part of you."

The Balkan Has Landed

"A crime boss is after me? Is he hot?"

Ah, GH, when in doubt, create another crime boss, huh? In addition to criminals attempting to shoot at her and slash her face, now Brenda has a notorious, never-before-seen crime lord named "The Balkan" who is bent on killing her. At least that's what Agent Bates from Interpol stopped by to tell her today. No one's quite sure why this mysterious figure would target Brenda, but Agent Bates leaves her with an ominous warning nonetheless: "The Balkan is not to be trifled with." Oh, and the eagle flies at midnight ... geez, Bates, could you tone down the theatrics? If you're really that worried, how about getting a couple guards over there, or putting a deadbolt on that terrace door? Anyways, not that I don't have the utmost faith in the GH writers .... bwahhahahahaha (sorry, tried to get that out without laughing) ... but something tells me that this storyline could go horribly wrong. I mean, remember dreadfully boring ol' Karpov from a couple years back? I barely do either, thank goodness.

Brenda appears unfazed by the news of The Balkan bounty on her head, and refuses to leave Rome, but once left alone, she quickly turns to General Hospital's version of Google for more info on the mystery crime lord. Hey, maybe she can teach Sonny how to use the Internet once they finally reunite.

"Oh sure, I Finder-Spyder my ex all the time."

While Emma Is Found, All Common Sense Is Lost

"No, I'm not attempting to breastfeed. I just figured showing three quarters of my boob might take some of the sting out of me kidnapping your daughter."

Just when you think Lisa's ramped up the crazy as far as it can go, she pulls yet another about-to-be-boiled rabbit out of her hat. As we learned on Friday, Patrick and Robin come home to find that Lisa stopped by to pick up Emma for ice cream ... and well, the nanny let her. While I'm glad poor, tired, overworked Mercedes is no longer caring for every child in Port Charles under the age of 18, I can't help but think this would have never happened on her watch.

You're no Mercedes, sweetheart. Oh, and you're fired.

Almost as unsettling as Lisa taking Patrick and Robin's child--and the nanny letting her--was the emergency response that followed. Patrick and Robin waste precious time arguing over whether to call the cops or search for Emma themselves. Um, your cell phone ... it's portable. So you can do both. And why wouldn't you call the cops immediately if a woman has taken your child without your permission? Especially a woman who you have recently had issues with?

Desperation Leads Brook and Lisa to Play With Pills

If there was a lesson in today's General Hospital, it's that desperate women and pharmaceuticals just don't mix. Brook, on the verge of a one-way ticket back to Bensonhurst and thisclose to cashing in big courtesy of Carly, continues to pump Dante with beer laced with pills as a sure way to get him into bed. Honestly, I was really uncomfortable watching this whole thing unfold, and if Coleman hadn't shown up when he did, I think I would have fast-forwarded through much of it. (I'm sorry, I simply cannot fast-forward through Coleman, no matter what kind of crazy is going on around him).

Welcome Hoe, Stone Cold!

Oh Spinelli, what has become of you? I really use to love this crazy kid, but the writers have made him very "one note" as of late. When he was still with Maxie, it was all about his inferiority complex. And now that Spixie are no more, it's all about his borderline creepy Stone Cold adoration. Take today for example--the squealing, the giggling, the jumping up and down when he received the news of Stone Cold's "loop hole departure" from Pentonville. Yes, I get that these two are BFFs, but what use to be a very endearing friendship that I very much enjoyed is now just odd and uncomfortable to watch. I joked on Twitter earlier that we may soon see Spinelli cutting up Jason and Sam's photos a la Lisa ... but it wouldn't be much of a stretch if it actually happened. I mean, did I mention the squealing ...

And the jumping ...

General Hospital Travels Back to the Present, Brings Brenda Along

Just in case you happened to miss a promo or ten on ABC, it was finally "B Day" on General Hospital today ... that's right, the big return of Brenda Barrett! As these much-hyped returns usually go, I didn't expect to see much of her today, figuring we'd catch a glimpse of her at the very end. And aside from various shots of the back of her head throughout the episode, that's exactly what we got.

Lucky Packs Up Aiden, Census Worker Costume and Heads for Home

After all these years of watching General Hospital, I should know by now just to abandon all logic before I sit down to watch an episode. But damn it if it doesn't make my head hurt each and every time I insist on trying to make a storyline mesh with reality. So let me get this straight: Lucky finds Karen and the missing baby Aiden across the country in Oregon. He calls no one--no back-up, no nothing. He goes somewhere to change into a census worker costume he just happens to have on hand (I know I always pack a suit, dark-rimmed glasses and a clipboard  when I go on a stake-out) just so he can get a better read on the situation. When that doesn't work and Karen throws him out, he goes back to the house, now dressed as Lucky The Cop, with a story about how the baby is really his and it was kidnapped and wrongly given to Karen by her son, Franco, aka Bobby.

The Best Part of Waking Up Is Tasting Patrick on His Coffee Cup

Neither of the YouTube channels I use to watch General Hospital were updated today, so unfortunately, no screen shots from the episode (and boy, do I love my screen shots). But I do have a few thoughts on the episode to share, sans the visuals ...

First, thank goodness today was a little more exciting than yesterday. And trust me, compared to the sleep-inducing hour that was yesterday's episode, watching Mike flip pancakes at Kelly's would have been more exciting. But who needs Mike and pancakes when you have Lisa acting about eight shades of crazy? I have to say, the wackier she gets, the more entertained I become. And suddenly Googling men I'm interested in doesn't seem quite so stalkerish when you compare it to molesting someone's coffee cup. I mean, really ... "I can taste you on this cup"?! Hey Shadybrook ... "Incoming!" Dr. Lisa Niles is coming at you like a torpedo! Start changing the linens and getting a room ready.

Mac Is Tan, Patrick Is Guilty, and Franco Continues to Monkey With Port Charles

It seemed like a rather dull day in The Chuckles, even though Franco and his army of toy monkeys did their best to spice things up. In the park, he kneeled beside Josslyn and taunted Jax for what seemed like a good five minutes before it dawned on Jax that a call to 911 might be appropriate when you're witnessing a psychopath stroking your baby daughter's forehead. Jax informs the operator that he's in the park with "Franco, the serial killer," to which the artist responds, "If you're going to throw around labels, I'm going to take my monkey and go," and disappears into the bushes. By the time Dante and Ronnie Domestico show up on the scene, Franco is long gone. But not to worry, dear citizens of Port Charles. Mac's going to get one of them there hel-ee-copters to look for Franco, "an eye in the sky," as Ronnie calls it. Gee, you think? Because you only have a wanted serial killer strolling around all over town in broad daylight. Maybe time to call in some reinforcements to back up lone officer Dante and an unarmed Jason.